Games by Nintendo sell, notes syndicated media outlet. Popular gaming site chimes in, "Boy, Nintendo sure is selling well!" Nintendo's sales are in tune with prior sales figures, and indicate a trend which would occur in the future, also involving sales.

Nintendo will be revealing the release date for the 3DS on September 29, according to Bloomberg Japan. This would seem to preclude a 2010 launch date. Nintendorks will be there* live to report on any release date release date announcements that might occur.
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EA's Chief Operating Officer John Schappert has been absolutely cooing about the Nintendo 3DS. He told Business Insider, "The 3DS is just incredibly cool. The 3DS is magical. You put that in your hand, you look down, and all of a sudden it’s in 3D without glasses. That’s an amazing experience. I’m a huge fan." I feel like he's talking about my penis.

Schappert also glistened mightily when he added, "I think it’s going to do incredibly well, and in typical Nintendo fashion they have re-energized the industry, yet again."

What about Sony? "I think the PSP business has been challenged for a little while now," Schappert mused, perhaps with a hint of whimsy.

What is this, UbiSoft? IS THIS A VITALITY SENSOR?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HardeMode.org is running a video game marathon to raise money for the National Down Syndrome Society. Now I know what you might be thinking. Why aren't they raising money for Child's Play? Well, they did that during their last successful event where they raised $1,150. There are other charities, and a pretty good cause happens to be research for Downs Syndrome.

During the last marathon, HardMode.org played through the main Mario titles from Super Mario Bros. all the way to New Super Mario Bros. Wii. This time the marathon is ninja themed. The group will be playing all sorts of ninja game classics such as Ninja Gaiden and Shinobi III, but will also be trying out some lesser known titles such as Ninja Combat.

Head on over to HardeMode.org to tune into the marathon and donate to a good cause. The event starts in just two hours (at 8pm cst) and goes until Sunday May 23rd.

A British woman named Amanda Flowers from Manchester fell off her Wii Fit board and suffered an unusual injury, according to The Daily Star. The young caterer has been diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome.

“It began as a twinge down below," explained Flowers, "before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.” Now any kind of vibration, from cell phones to blenders to presumably N64 rumble paks, creates the kind of dripping arousal that can only be satisfied with up to "10 sex sessions a day," according to the article.

This disorder was first discovered and published a few years ago in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, one of Ryan's favorite periodicals. Despite what one may think, the disorder is not related to the usual sexual appetite that is characteristic of all young people. In fact, the disorder manifests in the "absence of conscious feelings of sexual desire," which is akin to starting a car without needing to drive anywhere, only instead of a car there's a vagina.

Other literature suggests that it is not related to nymphomania, and is not caused by sexual desire or excitement. Boston University's School of Sexual Medicine notes that the woman suffers from "genital and breast vasocongestion and sensitivity, with little or no relief form [sic] orgasmic experience."

The Star article is as slim and teasing as we all hope Flowers is herself, and therefore does not provide much on the details of the injury. However, per the abstract written by the doctors who discovered the disorder, "no obvious hormonal, vascular, neurological, or psychological causes have been identified as underlying the symptoms of any of these patients." It is possible, although questionable, if Nintendo caused her injury. Normally the arousal caused by Nintendo is quite specifically driven by sexual desire.

Nintendo quietly announced something with what amounts to little more than a press release seen here. There's a lot of speculation being thrown around when the official announcement doesn't say much at all. What is fact? What is reality? Well, we're not entirely sure either, but we have done a good job of haphazardly cobbling it all together for one concise special report podcast for your listening pleasure. Because we all know you hate to read.

Like with standard radio episodes you can get your episode now on iTunes (search for Nintendorks Radio in the iTunes store) or right here.



The Facts:
-Brand new handheld system
-Backwards compatible with DS and DSi games (which means it will have two cameras and two screens)
-Features the ability to view 3D effects without special glasses (we don't know HOW or what type of 3D they mean -more on that in the podcast)
-Will release sometime between April 2010 to March 2011
-It's from Nintendo
-More info will be released at E3
-"3DS" is just a code name. Expect a new name announcement as we approach E3.

I heard from some guy who knows somebody:
-3D joystick (psp style nub or full blown 64 style joystick? Or a third option!?)
-Rumbling?
-Motion sensor?
-3G wireless for game downloads?

Pure speculation: (by me)
-Pedometer! Come on, you keep packing it in with games lately. Just build it in!

GamesBeat recently published an interview Dean Takahashi had with Nintendo's Cammie "Camero" Dunaway, wherein the big N discussed the Wii's fifth year. Traditionally one gives wood as a 5th anniversary present (please, save your penis jokes), but the modern variant is to give silverware. However, if you think you're going to stick a fork in Nintendo, then think again. And if you think that joke was strained, just wait, there's three more paragraphs left.

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Nintendo held a media summit and showed off a bunch of stuff! Here's the bullet point version:

Wii

• Super Mario Galaxy 2 is out May 23. Nintendo showed off Yoshi (pointer controls tongue), a new suit that let's you drill to the other side of a planetoid, and quite a bit of 2D-in-3D style gameplay.


• Metroid: Other M is out June 27. The press release makes it sound like it is a 2D Metroid game, but you can also stop to aim in first person using the remote.


• Sin and Punishment: Star Successor is out June 7, after an October launch in Japan. (Much faster this time!)


• Monster Hunter Tri will come out April 20th, optionally bundled with the new Classic Controller Pro (see also: Dual Shock) for a $10 premium. It has free online play with Wii Speak support.


• Dragon Quest IX is coming to the Wii sometime this summer.


• Cave Story is out on WiiWare March 22, and will include previously announced add-ons as part of the purchase price.


• The untitled Wii Legend of Zelda was not mentioned, but the release of Galaxy 2 and Other M in summer would point to a holiday release plan.

DS

• The DSi XL will hit North American shelves March 28, for the absurd price of $190.


• Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver will be released March 14. Those names are a real stretch.


• Picross 3D will finally arrive in North America on May 3, and will feature Layton-style DLC support.


• Ghostwire: Link to the Paranormal is a DSi-exclusive augmented reality game, which probably means pointing the camera around your house to find ghosts.

The full press release is located here.

1up reports that Nintendo has told them Metroid Prime Trilogy (Wii) is "no longer being shipped," meaning, the only new copies you'll ever see are the ones that are currently in retailers' hands. It was only available for about four months.

Nintendo went on to say that the other Gamecube remakes available for the system (Pikmin, Mario Power Tennis, Donkey Kong Jungle Beat) are still being printed, so my guess is that Nintendo has decided to sell each game separately. It doesn't really make sense to remake Prime 1 and 2 for the Wii only to yank them off the shelf after four months.