What is this “DVD” I keep hearing about?

Sorry, guys.

It seems that Nintendo has halted the progress on a Wii made with “Digital Versatile Disc” technology in lieu of just making more of the original systems so that little children don’t cry on their birthdays when they get a PS3. (“I don’t get a wii, daddy?” “No. Enjoy Haze, you terrible, ungrateful creature.”) Does anyone remember when they did this with the Gamecube? No? What’s that you say? Everything in your damn house plays DVDs already? You don’t need your Wii to do it too? You’d rather it just play sweet, sweet games? Good. Good. Thanks, Nihon Keizai Shimbun!