New Old Games: July 21

Remember E3? Trying to forget it? Well, you are in luck. The VC and Wii Ware saw updates today that should help alleviate the pain. Firstly, Wii Ware gives us Pirates: The Key of Dreams (1,000 Wii points), which looks and plays much like a horizontal shooter, only pirate themed. Which makes everything better, of course. And hey, instead of the normal pointer-finger thing you see on the screen, it’s a hook. I love that type of dedication to the craft. It’s also multiplayer up to four players! It doesn’t get any better than that.

Unless you like even more horizontal shooters, that is.

The VC releases are a couple of Sega Genesis games that haven’t been released stateside, like, ever. First up is the sequel to Master System shooter Fantasy Zone, Super Fantasy Zone. Just like the in the heydays of the SNES, everything is made better with a “Super” prefix. It’ll set you back 900 Wii points and is fairly hard on the eyes, but you’ve seen the Riker gif. You’re ready for anything at this point.

The other release is Gley Lancer, another horizontal shmup that actually plays well. If you love shooting things, dodging things, and shooting things while dodging things, there really is no better game available on the service. Of course, it also retails for 900 points, but this time it is totally worth the virtual cabbage. You have my word! If you buy it and don’t like it, you can bill us have a nice day!