People Still Read Magazines?

Magazines about video games are retarded.

There, I said it. If you want to see articles with pictures of video games, you can go on the internet. If you want to see videos, oh look, the internet. If you want demos of games, well fuck my buttons, the internet. The internet! It’s good shit.

Nintendo, along with Future U.S., which puts out that godawful Nintendo Power magazine, has decided that they need to expand and make MORE magazines for MORE suckers who apparently don’t yet understand what all this hubbub is about the internet (“does it make french fries? No? Then I don’t give a damn.” “Wait, you say that it has naked ladies on it?”). The are launching an Australian/New Zealand edition of the Official Nintendo Magazine, so that they too can give outrageously stupid reviews of official Nintendo Games (Wii Music Gets a 475/10! 84 STARS OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE! FOURTEEN THUMBS UP) and maybe include Hintz and Tipz about your fave gamez. Do magazines still do that? Have code sections? Or include cool maps that show you where to find various colored rings (of power)? Do they do anything of any use at all? Oh, they include posters? Those are so cool for covering one-and-a-half square feet of my dorm room wall. They are good for being mocked quietly behind my back. That is what they are good for.

Nintendo. Take your money. Make games. End of line.