And in a big Donkey Kong Country

by Chris V on

…dreams stay with you.

Also, Fox News is reporting that Obama, er, Nintendo is offering a new feature with Donkey Kong Country Returns – Socialism, er, Super Guide. Essentially, the optional Super Guide kicks in once a player has failed approximately eight times. A menu box will ask you if you would like the game to guide you through the difficult portion. If you select yes, a “ghost” character will work its way through the hard part. If you select no, you will keep failing until you get so frustrated you throw your Wiimote against the wall, where it will shatter and fall to the ground, much like your dreams.

“The new twist with Super Guide is that these tips are built into the game itself,” explains Nintendo spokesperson Kit “Cloudkicker” Ellis, “so players don’t have to pause and go reference some other source to get the answer they are looking for.” Adrian “By Hook Or” Crook, a game designer, suggests the Super Guide may take too long. “For truly casual games, I use dynamic difficulty adjustment that kicks in after only two or three failures,” Crook told Fox News while describing his automated adversity-driven fluctuating compatible parallelism matrix on his upcoming Facebook game.