New “Wii Select” titles – $0.01 Cheaper Than Common Whore

Common Knowledge: Common Whores Cost $20.$19.99 – that’s all it’ll cost you to FINALLY get your hands on Twilight Princess, Super Smash Bros: Brawl, Mario Super Sluggers, and Wii Sports – each part of Nintendo’s new “Wii Select” line of best-sellers at low prices.

What’s that, you say?

You already have Wii Sports and every GameStop is required by law to carry at least 300 used copies at all times for $0.50 each?? Well what if I told you the $19.99 version of Wii Sports comes with an all new expanded Mii outfits and body types library, Wii Sports Resort, 8 demos of popular Wii games, and a code for a free game download?

Well, it doesn’t. It doesn’t include any of those things. It includes Wii Sports. For $19.99. Which you’re going to need, because the new Wii package is $149.99, and only includes a Wii, a controller, a punch to the throat, and you can only choose a girl Mii. Harsh Nintendo, Harsh.

It’s a rumor, but maybe Mario Kart will be bundled instead!