Cave Story: The Post in Which I Ruin This Wonderful Game For You Forever.

Cave Story is a 2D platforming shooter kinda, sorta designed in the style of an old NES game that was met with a lot of praise when released for the PC at the price of “on the house” back in 2004. As a result of this warm critical reception, the game’s creater Pixel (not making that name up), decided to pull his head out of his ass he should probably charge people money to play this thing that took five years of his life to make.

Various versions of the game were subsequently released across pretty much every platform you can think of, some of them even sporting enhanced graphics and remixed music tracks (sort of defeating the purpose of the original “old school” intention, but I digress). For Nintendo players specifically, you’ve got three options: A WiiWare version with the aforementioned upgrades, a 3DS remake built from scratch featuring a full visual overhaul. And as recently as last week the 3DS eShop is now host to a ten dollar download that goes back to the original’s sprite-based roots only with an added 3D “depth” option (for those of you that enjoy keeping your eyes crossed). Personally I only own the WiiWare port and while I certainly enjoyed what I played of it, I had to put it down not long into the first level. You see, something so terrible happened…I just…oh man…

Here. Please allow me to present you with something you will never unhear.

The melody you’ll be listening for is very brief and starts at precisely the 0:58 second mark:

Now. On this clip, skip ahead to (ironically enough) to the 0:58 second mark as well:

I’m truly sorry this had to happen but on the bright side, I’m glad you heard it from me.