NEWSFLASH! Wii U Discs Will Reportedly Feature “Rounded Edges.” Internet Explodes.

Yep, the big reveal making the rounds on various major websites today is that Nintendo will forego traditional discs in favor of their own proprietary design. One that as you can glean from the headline and see from the photograph, will feature a smoother, rounded edge that apparently provides a sensory experience not unlike cupping the buttocks of the lord our savior, Christ himself.

In related news, I had some french fries and chicken fingers for lunch. The fries were decent but the strips were way too dry and the breading was barely seasoned. On the bright side I finally tried out one of those weird Coke machines that lets you pick your own flavor combinations. I went with cherry and vanilla because I loved when that pairing was officially sold in cans and bottles a few years back but unfortunately, they didn’t stick around as long as I would have liked.