DRCs 04-15-08

by Brandon on

Rock the red.

Do you play games to live vicariously, or do you play games to enjoy a story? – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: Yes.

Earlier today my girlfriend, in attempt to show off to her friends, decided to throw her cellphone at me directly in the balls, proceeding to make me writhe in pain, hunch over, get dizzy, and even throw up a little bit of this mucusy stuff. I got pissed at her and yelled at her, and she yelled back. However, her hot female friends proceeded to feel bad for me. My girlfriend left out of anger towards me, and I proceeded to receive lots of close care from all of her female friends for the rest fo the afternoon, which was awesome.

I’m not sure what the moral of this story was, but I was hoping you did. – Dewey

Brandon: Sounds like a great gal you got there.

When Brawl came out, I played for two weeks straight. Then I went on Spring Break to my parents’ house, and I didn’t bring my Wii with me (a combination of my mother’s paranoia about it getting stolen by some TSA guy and my mistaken idea that I’d actually have stuff to do during the day).

Aside from a few online matches requested by friends, I haven’t played Brawl since before Spring Break, and haven’t particularly desired it, either. Maybe I should see a doctor. – Orange Soda

Brandon: I haven’t played lately because I accidentally left the Wii’s power cord at my mom’s house. At least my excuse is better.

The co-worker looking over my shoulder has this to say about the “Go Caps Go” heading on the main page: “You tell that man that you agree with him…do it…type it NOW.” – TinyBruce

Brandon: You tell him to mind his own business…do it…say it NOW. Also say thanks.

I might be wrong about this, but I think two of the seven flavors of ass were onion and pumpernickel. Vanilla and soy maybe as well? I think you only ever told us four, and the rest were a secret. You know, if we just ask people with relevant experience, we can get the rest of these flavors. – Bmano

Brandon: Wheat was definitely one of them. What a waste of grain.

Brandon, a Chipotle just opened about five minutes from where I live. I’ve been to pseudo Mexican places before, but never Chipotle, so I want a recommendation from you. – Chris the guy that writes stuff for the site

Brandon: Step one is the meat. You can’t go wrong with barbacoa or carnitas. I prefer black beans over pinto, and then it’s just hot sauce, sour cream, and cheese. If you get a bowl, get chips to dip/scoop. If you get a burrito, tell them to go easy on the rice, and tell them to mix it all up just before rolling the burrito up. A Chipotle burrito is the one place I don’t like segregation taking place.

Okay, so Culdacept Saga should be here ON my birthday. Can you say digital board game birthday bash?

No? Oh. – Boris Stoke

Brandon: I can say it because I enjoy alliteration.

Hey, I have my own TV show…would you like to play online scrabble with me? – carson daly

Brandon: I usually know my night has taken a turn for the worse when I’m actually watching your show. Sorry.

Is it supposed to be a coincidence that DRC sounds like dork if you try to say it out loud? – Mr. of the Universe

Brandon: Wow, I actually never thought of that. So yes, I’d say it’s a coincidence.

My wife and I found out we are going to be parents for the first time right before the DRCs came back.


Yeah, probably. – Nintendork327

Brandon: Wow, I was busier than I thought while DRCs were away.

So are you planning on participating in the Call of Duty 4 whatever thingie weekend? I registered, downloaded the gamer picture, then told my wife I would be busy next weekend which was met with derision and scorn over giving up leaving the house to play a video game.

Mind you I think she’s just jealous of my skills. She tried playing one day but that basically consisted of her pointing the gun in the general direction of anyone she saw, pushing the trigger and wiggling the joystick aimlessly in hopes she’d hit something. It was hilarious watching her die about 40 times in ten minutes though. – Ned the Head

Brandon: What CoD4 whatever thingie weekend? I have to look into that…I’ve been wrapped up in Mass Effect lately.

Hey I forgot to ask. Whatever happened to the Hyrulean Loach video? My brother and I were just reminiscing about the laughter the rampant nerdiness in that thing brought us. – Ned the Head

Brandon: If you actually listened to Nintendorks Radio, you’d know where to find those videos!

I remember when I was on the website dressed like mario and I was a feature… good times 4 years ago… also I think i broke the data dorks thing 🙁 – getupkid2004

Brandon: Why would you do such a thing? I just went there and everything seems a-ok so you’re just crazy.

I could have sworn the last DRC’s title of “Go Caps go.” was all lower case. I thought it was clever and a little ironic. I may have been drunk when I read them though. – Shakey

Brandon: That would have almost been funny. Good luck to your Senators.

Hey! I actually went to Webster.com to look up ‘inauspicious’ and see if it had any extra meanings I didn’t know about, and I learned that the whole concept of ‘auspices’ comes from bird watching. Extra nerd points for Emily! – ZoogzRift

Brandon: I believe you’re the one that deserves the nerd points.

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.Mark

Brandon: See what I did there?

Man, that last guy had no right saying that to you. What a dick. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: Seriously, what an EGO.

I bought Baroque for the WII thinking it might give me my RPG fill…. what a bad decision that was. Soooooo stupid. – Selendrile

Brandon: That was more than 5 words.

Why do people love the Toxic Avenger so much? Troma blows. – SerratedEdge

Brandon: When you’re 13 it’s HILARIOUS.

It’s 1:30 am, I have no intention of going ot bed anytime soon, and my primary concern is not the 11 pgs of HW due in three days that I have yet to start, but the fact that I have yet to beat Sub-space Emissary.

I may have a problem – []!

Brandon: Oh come on…even I’ve beat SSE and I’m an old man!

At the mall the other day there were Nintendo girls giving a demo of Wii fit. I bugged one until she gave me a Wii fit cap. It’s captastic. – macaronic

Brandon: Thanks for the pictures!

In the Arrested Development banner, I can’t recognize all the staffers… In fact, I think I can only recognize two. Should I feel ashamed? – Villian on the Cover

Brandon: That’s because only two staffers still write for the site.


Can you reinstate my account? I blocked myself awhile back but I’ve never lost the urge to return. Reset my password for me and send it to me if you would. I have no idea how else to contact you effectively, so someone recommended I send in a drc.

~Brandon – Duckhammer

Brandon: I’m afraid I will have to make this a poll. Stay tuned!

Don’t worry stumpy, I got this. Dewey, you can have my clear plastic circle if you want it, I don’t even use it. – kevnt

Brandon: Yeah this might be a wild idea, but some people actually lay their Wii down on its side!

I’m in Palm Springs right now. Average age: 120. Average temperature: 120. How am I not seeing more corpses on the golf course? – Eric

Brandon: You’re not hitting them hard enough.

Using the wheel in Mario Kart Wii only increases the amount of fun you are having with the game. It is like the opposite of snaking. Is this why self proclaimed ‘hardcore gamers’ don’t like it? They don’t like fun? I like fun. Do you like fun? – Malaclype

Brandon: I LOVE fun!

The current political situation is far too boring. We’re in need of another good red scare, wouldn’t you say? – EmeraldTheMaster

Brandon: Only if it produces more films like Red Dawn.

I saw a black man on a motorcycle today and it made me think of AJ. – Hungrywolf

Brandon: EVERYTHING makes you think of AJ.

2008, Brandon.

I hope you still enjoy me. Don’t ever leave me half open on the table overnight again. – BeerCan

Brandon: The night I leave a half open can of beer on the table overnight is a night I watch Carson Daly.

I think of all the off-brand cereal names out there, “Crispy Hexagons” is probably the lamest. I don’t even want to worry about how many corners are on my cereal in the morning, I just want it to taste like “Crispix.” Can’t they come up with a better knock-off name for it, like “Krisp Hex” or something. It still implies the Hex shape, and replaces the “c” with a “k” whikh is now kool to do or so the internet tries to konvinke me. – PenguinRevolution

Brandon: Yeah but Krisp Hex could contain a deadly curse. A crispy curse, sure, but also deadly. I know exactly what I’m getting into when I open a box of Crispy Hexagons.

I’ve been trying my hand at homemade pizza recently, and I’m finding that it’s pretty easy. It’s almost like the “sandwich” of baking, in a sense that it’s hard to screw up. You may not come up with the tastiest sandwich you’ve ever had, but hey, it’s still a sandwich.

My one big problem is that my crust tends to come out a little uneven in places. This is probably because I’m too lazy to do that thing where you THROW the dough in the air and catch it etc. I just spread some corn meal over a cookie sheet and try to mold the dough to the sheet. (The corn meal helps prevent the dough from sticking to the pan. I also have a trick where I spread grated parmesan on the crust to give it that “DiGiorno” look.)

Right now I’m looking for a good pizza sauce recipe. I found one that’s tasty, but a little too rich, and the fennel gives it a sausagey flavor that I don’t really want. Any suggestions?

P.S. Huzzah for the site being up and all that. – R.O.B.

Brandon: You bake your sandwiches?