DRCs 04-18-08

by Brandon on

Maybe I should root for the other team.

I need a list of three things most people don’t know about women, please. – Pontius Pilate

Dwight: Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.

Brandon: I guess that was only two. Here’s a third: Chicks love popped collars and baseball caps turned sideways.

Yarr de dar de dar de dar! Top of the marnin’, me hearties! I be the oyerish poirate.

Walk the plank and we’ll get some Guiness! – The Oyerish Poirate

Brandon: I was trying to figure out how to type ARRRRRR in an Irish accent, but then noticed you already had that covered. Well played, sir.

I signed up for forum access back in December and have yet to be granted said access. Have I done something wrong, or am I just FUBAR? – Beardo

Brandon: Consider yourself activated!


Nintendorks releases a transcript of their exclusive chat room where the staff spends three hours adding “in my pants” to various movie titles.

Simply Oscar-worthy. – chopsuey

Brandon: That’s what she said.

Can you write my essay for me? – Dom

Brandon: I would, but you didn’t tell me what it was on, so NO.

Blastcorps 360 DO ET!! – Brettimus

Brandon: OMG YES!

I don’t think the Wii is supposed to be on it’s side. It looks awkward, like a boxed-dvd set that hasn’t been properly put away. It was meant to be held upright, with the assistance of CPC (Clear, Plastic Circle). Every console was. Although now I’m starting to wonder if this is why my PS1 never worked. – Dewey

Brandon: The universe is full of mysteries.

Aww, someone noticed my extra special clever word use. I feel validated. – Emily

Brandon: Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.


Brandon: It’s not my birthday yet, but thanks!

Have you seen those offbrand organic cereals with animal names? I always wanted some Peanut Butter Panda Puffs. – Gemini

Brandon: Every time I see Gorilla Munch I feel a little dirty.

Do you sometimes chew gum? – Magus

Brandon: Almost every day!

I tend to go with both steak and chicken on my chipotle burrito. It costs like a buck fifty extra but its worth it just to see the puzzled look on the college girls face as she tries to wrap my burrito up. Usually it splits and she is forced to rewrap it. I get a perverse pleasure from this. – Ned the Head

Brandon: Haha that’s mean but funny.

Pump up the volume. – Art Brut

Brandon: I just turned up a pop song.

I’ve been seeing more and more of those inspi(RED) shirts/blouses everywhere I go. They suck. You might even say I’m “ange(RED)” by this trend.

Ha. I need to work on better one-liners. 🙁 – Eric

Brandon: I agree.

Throughout the course of the poll as to whether I return or not, tell them that everyone who votes for me will be sent a check for 40 dollars! – Duckhammer

Brandon: I’m afraid you’re losing 38-84.

I don’t want to work. I have only the slightest motivation to play games, but none at my disposal. So instead I just sit at my computer looking at your site and hitting refresh until I fall asleep and then I cry when I wake up or when you do actually update. Or maybe I shout “Cat call!” at girls when they go by my window. – Framed Ship Bracelet

Brandon: Hey at least you have a window.

my name is lcpl lee and i love nintendorks because i am one and i love to eat the poo of chickens – chicken heads

Brandon: It’s a pleasure to meet you!

Is it just me or does Wii Fit sound like a porno? – Tex813

Brandon: Haha, it does now.

Orange Soda (and anybody else who is getting bored of Smash Brothers Brawl) should start looking in the forums a little more often. We have online tournaments running, and will be starting some season play soon. You can post in the SSBB Online thread a few hours before you’re ready to play, and I bet you’ll find some folks to join you. Using the IRC #Studio64 is even faster!

Find your power cord, B. I want you to taste the sexy steel of my Master Sword. – CNE

Brandon: My mommy is mailing it to me!

No Brandon, no! At Chipotle you have to ask for EXTRA rice! Because it’s so good! I agree with everything else, except I always get Guacamole too, and I have never thought to ask them to mix it up before wrapping it. That’s a good idea. How do they mix it, do they have some mixing spoon they just never use unless asked, or do they use their hands? – Stolle

Brandon: Too much rice in a burrito is BAD…it makes the burrito all dry tasting because there’s more rice than anything else combined. In a bowl it’s fine. As for mixing, they just pull out a plastic fork or knife, and mix it up. Then they use their tongue.

I have a degree in Journalism and if I don’t write for this site it will have been a waste. – TinyBruce

Brandon: CJ got a degree in journalism and he’s writing for a newspaper!

I clicked on this link accidentally from my favorites and noticed it’s… actually here. Afterward I was convinced I was transported to 1999 and no one told me. In fact I’m still not sure this hasn’t happened. – BBM

Brandon: That depends…is the site funny? That’s how you can tell what year it is.

Tell me, Brandon, will you be joining our grand hooker killing army when GTA IV is released? There’s gonna be shenanigans! – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: I have 5 dollars down to ensure shenanigans. But if there’s a midnight release I’ll probably pass.

Okay…maybe I should play this Call of Duty one day. Everyone and their mother seems to like it. But don’t any dorks play Team Fortress? Doesn’t anyone like cake?! – MrCab

Brandon: Do you mean on 360 or PC? Quite a few play on PC from time to time, and on the forum we even schedule TF2 nights! I imagine there will be more playing when Gold Rush comes out.

My wife bought me a NES Controller Belt but the belt was too long so I drilled some holes in it. Problem is I forgot to take the belt off first so now I can piss out of my naval. Advice?


Brandon: Use the belt on your wife, duh.

So, I’ve been too busy to get everyone organized to make a Nintendorks Super Smash Bros. Brawl FAQ. Then I realized, after I passed my comps, that smashbros.com did it all for us. Also, our attempt probably wouldn’t have Masahiro Sakurai’s cute way with the English language. – RubixsQube

Brandon: I know at least 3 ranks on the forum are thanks to his way with words.

Studio shenanigans have led to the realization that my G.I.Joe codename is Boo-Strike because it is a potentially awesome anagram of Boris Stoke.

Stumpy Joe is already an appropriate G.I.Joe name, though you could go by Stump Joey or even Jumpy Stoe. – Boris Stoke

Brandon: Stump Joey sounds like a lame game show. I’ll stick with Stumpy Joe. Remember, knowing is half the battle.

I really need to find an industry job…college loans are looming around the corner. What do you think’s the best way for me to get a job? – Opty

Brandon: I think you would be a good professional model.

I am in a cabin in the woods of Williamsport, PA. i have been without internet for almost two weeks. then i realized my cell phone gets crappy internet. right now it’s around 1am and i’m drunk, laughing, and happy. why? mostly its the cheap beer, but i’m simply elated that nintendorks is running at full force again. i feel nauseous. g’night! – notquitetony

Brandon: A cabin in the woods? We may never hear from him again…

Haha! Ewe deleted my account. It was funny and depressing so eye laughed and wept at the same thyme. – DJM79

Brandon: Sorry. No one’s stopping you from re-registering!

Holy crap! When did you guys come back? Yoda-dog had been up for a very, very long time. Now there’s all these updates! Has Hell frozen over, Brandon? Good to see you guys back, though… ;-D – 2Cold Scorpio

Brandon: What the hell is Yoda-dog? OH! The picture. Ok, now I’m following.

Wait, what was that thing matthew posted his drc from last week? – dookie

Brandon: I can’t remember…wait…yeah, I think it was his iiiiiiPHOOOOOONE!

I hear I lost the poll. That sucks. Why was I so hated? I thought I was an alright guy. Anyway, if I’m not wanted back then I can’t let it bring me down. Besides, I have my gf/writing career/etc to focus on. Thanks anyway, Brandon. – Duckhammer

Brandon: Actually, it sounded like most people didn’t have a problem, but those were the vocal people. I guess a majority only silently hate you.

Last night, I finally finished up Excitetruck. I have S ratings on all courses on all the cups in Excite, Super Excite and Mirror. I also got S ratings in the normal and super challenges. I have a remarkable sense of accomplishment. – Gato

Brandon: I was going to say it’s about time, but now that I think about it that’s pretty damned impressive.

“It’s been five years since Kevyn and I joined the site, and look at all we’ve managed to live through – two site redesigns, massive downtime, and 37,000 penis jokes.”

Of which 36,996 can be attributed to Ryan. Only they’re not jokes. – Eric

Brandon: Hooray for Chris and Kevyn and penis jokes!

Hey I remember this site, cool. – Qwil man

Brandon: Hooray for memory!

So I was talking to someone about how a friend’s curiosity led her to peruse the “Men Seeking Men” section on craigslist one day. Before long, of course, she was treated to a goatse-esque photo of a man advertising his wares. I commented that “she was quite taken aback.”

I then proceeded to completely lose all semblance of composure when the guy replied, “So was he.”

P.S. How long have you guys been around now? Sheez. – Dhsu

Brandon: We’ve been around since forever.