DRCs 05-06-08

by Brandon on

I meant to write up an item a while back about the various NDork Radio updates, but I was too lazy, so I’m using this space instead.

My wife and I finished watching the 3rd season of Arrested Development last night. Now I feel terrible that I’m one of those people personally responsible for it being canceled. Can you ever forgive me? – Gato

Brandon: I can, because I was one too!

Okay so I’m 42, and you’re a couple of years younger than me, and you just had a birthday.

Shouldn’t we have lives by now? – Mirage

Brandon: Hey what’s this “we” shit?

I am looking forward to killing a hooker today. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: You sent this before GTA IV came out, didn’t you.

Unlike MrOodles, I have remained faithful to Nintendorks and always kept it as my homepage, even through all the time it wasn’t updated. – Hungrywolf

Brandon: It’s because you’re lazy, and god bless you for it.

Bitch dis is da Negro Leagues. – Da Black Babe Roof

Brandon: Funny and racist, well done.

I asked my older brother about Ace Frehley and he said that he plays music old people like. – Kid A

Brandon: You could have asked wikipedia and found out a lot more.

I went to the library and got a book… and a Radiohead CD! – tomspug

Brandon: For FREEEEEE?!?!?

Well in a truely non-nintendork moment, rather than lazily search youtube for a clip, I made and uploaded my own. It’s a shitty low quality mpeg but it gets the point across.

I should have put 2 minutes of intro and 5 minutes of credits, all over Drowning Pool and KoRn songs to make it like so many other youtube offerings. – dookie

Brandon: Dammit, you pre-emptively stole the youtube music joke I was going to put in my reply. So all I can say baby Bowser does indeed perform a funny little dance.

It’s come to my attention that Canada has a strip club by the name of Club Supersex. So the next time someone tells you they’re moving North to protest the war or get free health care, they’re probably lying. – ineptitude

Brandon: I like that name because you pretty much know what the club is all about. I took my grandmother to Camelot thinking it would be a medieval-themed restaurant, and instead blew 200 bucks buying her lapdances. I’m just kidding, both of my grandmothers are dead.

Mario Kart is out and I just turned in my student’s grades for the semester, thus marking the start of my summer. Coincidence? I think not! – Bmano

Brandon: Are you on datadorks yet, mango? Or the brand new updated forum, for that matter?

I realize that this is probably the last place I should turn for serious advice about depression and suicide, but for whatever reason this was my first inclination and I am curious if you are familiar with such thoughts and if you have any advice. I will not be offended if you decide not to respond to this drc, because I realize it is not very funny. – an attendant lord

Brandon: Tons of people suffer from depression, so don’t think you’re alone in that. Go talk to someone. Suicide is stupid and selfish and you’re a jackass if do it.

I went back to Tech last weekend and hit up the Cellar because it’s one of the few places you can actually sit and talk AND hear people. Unfortunately, the bar tender was a taintface and the Irish jugabilly band was too much washboard playing for my likes, but we had fun regardless. – nsavagedx

Brandon: If you were upstairs, why not go downstairs, and vice-versa?

My professor assigned a 3 paged analysis of the importance of setting in the story “Greasy lake”. Only 2 pages are about setting really, or at least why it’s important.

Do you think a page and a half is long enough?

…where it counts? – rbtr

Brandon: I don’t know or remember one bit of what you’re talking about.

Did I send in a drc last time and you just chose to ignore it or did I just not send one in. I can’t remember. I would hate to say the same thing twice. – Trekridr

Brandon: I don’t know or remember one bit of what you’re talking about.

Am I the only person in the world who despises the Resident Evil series? Shitty controls, idiotic save system, puzzles that were designed for ‘tards, asinine item management system, B movie storyline, generic characters, and a reliance on cheesy scares over fun gameplay all make this one of the crappiest, most overrated series ever made. – A Guy Who Hates Resident Evil

Brandon: I’m guessing you haven’t played 4.

I live in Falls Church and am not a minority. Now can we be friends? – The Rinker

Brandon: I work in Tyson’s, we should do lunch!

Aha! I found the secret flower on the front page. – Brubaker

Brandon: Congratulations!

Did you know that some heroin addicts will scour the sides of highways in search of urine bottles, and the drink said urine in hopes of getting high off of it? The things Val Kilmer can teach you. Its really amazing.

I’m really wishing I had either a PS3 or 360 right now. – DigDug

Brandon: I really wish I had some Val Kilmer urine.

You know what’s funny about this?

The year after I stop updating that giant video game code thing… you guys return.

I’m worried as to what will happen when I finally update it later this year. – DavidDayton

Brandon: Don’t do it!

Is it just me, or does Mario Kart Wii feel like it was rushed to the market? It is easily the least polished Mario game I’ve ever played, and the more I play it, the more obvious it seems to me that this game was released before it was ready.

I still likes it though. But I could’ve liked it more. – EnviousThought

Brandon: I think it could have used a few tweaks here and there, but more or less I think they nailed it.

Does a beer at 4AM count as breakfast beer? – Klewi

Brandon: No, because the sun isn’t up.

Any opinion on Los Campesinos!? – hipster

Brandon: Yep!

Good news: I bought Mario Kart Wii for my 3-year-old’s birthday. Bad news: Birthday party, and opening gift time, won’t be until 8 days from today. Worse news: He may be better at it than I am. – CNE

Brandon: I hope you sent this 7 days ago!

Grandma’s visiting, so in addition to vacuuming ceaselessly for a week before she came, my mom continues to vacuum day and night–in a crazed sort of effort to show her mother that she keeps a good house. Which is not true. But the vacuum is loud as hell, and I need a way to cope with this. – Villian on the Cover

Brandon: That’s weird, my mom is coming to visit this weekend, and I’ll be vacuuming a bit before that. My my vacuum will cover the noise of yours.

Would you rather have a Pegasus that can’t fly or a blind unicorn? Note: The Pegasus still has wings, but they are just for show. – Mark

Brandon: That’s a dumb question, a blind unicorn! Unicorn tears either heal all wounds and diseases, or they turn into diamonds…either way, I imagine a blind unicorn would be crying a LOT.

I want to teach my daughter the wrong names of colors so people will think she’s color-blind. Does that make me an asshole? – SerratedEdge

Brandon: You should teach her the wrong names of colored people.

5-word review of The World Ends with You (DS):

Best DS game. Orgasmic-good story.

4 extra words:

Go fucking buy it. – Magihiro

Brandon: You’re not allowed to do that.

Well, Brandon. We now have GTAIV. I think it’s beautiful. I am, however, saddened that I haven’t played much multiplayer with you, yet. But, as with most games, I like to clear (or at least get pretty far into) the single-player mode first. So, tell me, Mr. Dehart: Is it everything you’d hoped it would be? – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: I still have to get used to that dumb snap-back camera, and I wish I could one-shot a car’s gas cap in single player, but the more I play the better it gets. Especially when I’m playing Cops and Crooks with you and 8 other dorks for 3 hours last night.

“Out of Reaches” and “Elmo Delmo” are two of the best songs Stephen Malkmus has recorded in his entire life.

Thanks to this most recent album, he can officially be embarassed by his last three solo efforts. – Ray64

Brandon: As a whole album, perhaps, but I still say his last three were pretty strong!

Haiku’s are Easy

But they don’t always make sense

Refrigerator – Pika-pimp

Brandon: Wow that’s so original they should put it on a T-Shirt……..

An update from Duckhammer:

Greetings Nintendorks! You’ll all be glad to hear I learned how to drink like a normal human being! The past couple months I’ve been drinking very casually and cutting myself off after a small amount or a buzz kicks in. Hence, I’ve decided it truly is a matter of willpower and that the disease model of alcoholism need be thrown out.

Oh, and my girlfriend dumped me after I developed an addiction to OxyContin. I found its easier to drink moderately when you’re fucked up on hillbilly heroin.

Cheers! – Duckhammer

Brandon: Congrats? Why do I feel like I read this 4 years ago.

Wow, Nintendorks is still around, eh? I was sure you guys had died… – HandiCapitalist

Brandon: Just our soul.

Trivia time!

Which state has the lowest highest point? – WelshCleats

Brandon: Delaware! I cheated.

Radio Shack sells video games? I think Dayton’s givin’ us the ol’ runaround. God knows I’m not stepping inside of a Radioshack to find out. – wastingspace63

Brandon: I think the last time I stepped inside a Radio Shack Indiana Jones was playing in the theaters.

Hey, I was just wondering if you have heard of the game Mythos. Basically if you like Diablo you will like this game aswell. Its made by ex blizzard employees and its gunna be FREE!

But only free if you give me your credit card number. – SmotPoker

Brandon: I haven’t and I won’t.

Oh har har. Let’s ban Jim from the forum for a week and not explain to him why. Then, we’ll have other people tell him why, and watch as it makes ZERO sense. I cannot believe me and Phlox were banned because of what we said. I never even said I hated the fucking thing, what a pointless ban.

At least I got a nameless shout-out on Nintendorks Radio. – Jim

Brandon: Hahah I had nothing to do with it, but this DRC made it totally worth it.