DRCs 05-14-08

by Brandon on

With “special” #studio64 guest commentary!

While cleaning out my closet in an attempt to get more organized, I found my box of SNES games that I have been searching for for months. I have even check that closet before, but for some reason I must’ve thought I searched that corner but apparently I didn’t.

Anyway, I’m just really happy now that I found my games. Particularly because I didn’t want to have lost my copy of Earthbound. – Hungrywolf

Brandon: Your closet sounds gigantic.

Mark: Well, I’m impressed. And a little turned on.

Hero: that was an impressive, rollercoaster tale of redemption

DC: He has a copy of earthbound, KILL HIM

Boris Stoke: I bet you’d misplace a child too. That’s okay, they’re small and they squirm out of your hands.

Jbond64: PK THUNDER!

Just last night, I was racing Jacobi (my only friend so far) in Mario Kart Wii. We were racing in the new Bowser’s Castle level, and I had been leading the entire race. As the third lap was coming to a close, Jacobi was closing the gap, but I thought I had enough of a lead to win. Then I heard him launch a red shell. I was doing mini-boosts off of the lava jets as I neared the finish line. It looked like I was going to cross before the shell got me, and I would taste sweet victory! I made a small steering mistake and hit the wall right at the finish line. The shell crashed in to me. I tried to get unstuck and to cross the finish line. I did it and the race ended, but Jacobi had just nosed me out. So I drank from the bitter cup of defeat. Still, it was mighty fun. I made so much noise at the end of that race that I scared my wife and all three cats. – Gato

Brandon: There is nothing worse than that feeling. Nothing.

Mark: Well, I’m impressed. And a little turned on.

Hero: that was a rollercoaster tale of…ah, screw it

A New Challenger: If you hadn’t mentioned Mario Kart I wouldn’t have known what to think about that.

Wolfbelly: You should stop playing MarioKart while engaged in sex. Your wife and three cats would appreciate it.

I love it when you think “invisible text” and it’s there! – Peel

Brandon: How do you know when I’m thinking “invisible text?”


Kevyn: I love when you think “six pack in the fridge” and it’s there!

The message board was updated? I guess that explains why the forum’s thread names don’t appear on Plinkomedia anymore. I also guess that means I can’t quasi-spy on what people are talking about anymore. I’ll probably get my butt back into the forum once this semester is over. The rest of me, too, if you’re lucky. – Orange Soda

Brandon: If you need me, I’ll be right over there on the edge of my seat.


A New Challenger: Come along, you belong, feel the fizz!

Kevyn: We’re all quivering with anticipation.

Boris Stoke: He’s an inanimate orange soda. The fact he accomplishes anything is amazing.

Seriously, why doesn’t anyone wanna play Burnout Paradise ever? It’s always “GTA4” this and “CoD4” that. I’m poor, lazy, and still enjoying Burnout, so I don’t have either of those games, but I miss online play. – llamapalooza

Brandon: Next time you see me on, hit me up and I’ll race with you! Unless I’m too busy playing GTAIV, CoD4, Rock Band, Culdecept Saga, Bioshock, or Mass Effect.

Mark: The man has a point.

Hero: we just like the third sequel of games.

Jbond64: I’ll be visiting burnout again when the islands come out.

Boris Stoke: Because we’re burned out on it. HEY-O! Right?

Kevyn: Does Burnout have Cops N Crooks? I think not!

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Mola Ram: I disagree.

I have a headache, Brandon, help me! – Jonas

Brandon: Masturbate.

DC: Die in a fire.

Kevyn: Die with a headache in a fire.

Mark: I had no idea Brandon was a doctor.

Jbond64: Dr. Mario isn’t a real doctor.

A New Challenger: I have a headache too! We’re practically twins.

5-word review of Okami (Wii): Confusing Japanese names; beautiful brushstroking. I’m not sure if that’s a double entendre or not. – Dewey

Brandon: I’m not sure you know what a double entendre is!

Boris Stoke: I’m not sure either!

Jbond64: You didn’t mention the large breasted tree lady.

Hero: I’m gonna go with yes.

Mark: Haha, dog’s can’t paint!

Brandon, I don’t think you’re in the least bit creepy or anything like that. But, truth be told, I can easily picture you, sitting in a dark room, with a glass of scotch, watching the strippers in GTAIV for hours on end. …You’re a sick man, DeHart. Hope to ride with you again soon! – SquirrelGOD

Mark: That doesn’t sound creepy at all.

Brandon: Not one bit.

Jim – You deserved what you got

Wolfbelly: Why do you think Brandon isn’t responding to these?

Brandon: Because I’m going to edit out all your unfunny shit and add my own.

DC: Jim deserved all the internet relationshits he didnt get.

An Update From Refreshy! Hey Duckhammer! Nobody gives a shit, junkie! – Refreshy

Boris Stoke: You seem to.

Hero: That sounded mean.

Brandon: That sounded funny.

DC: This coming from the new ridley…

Jbond64: From one Junkie to another. A Refreshy D story.

Thanks to Nintendorks I discovered the fly musical skills of Cadence Weapon, aka Rollie P. So I thought I’d let you know he has a new album out, unless you read Onion AV Club, in which case I look like a behind-the-times jackass. Also, have you seen these LOL Cats? Cute AND funny. – ineptitude

Brandon: You don’t visit the message board, do you.

Mark: I understood like 20% of those words.

Hero: Well, at least his name is correct.

Jbond64: So you’re telling me, you built a time machine… out of a DeLorean!?

Mario Kart’s Wifi play is everything Smash Bro’s should’ve been. – Selendrile

Brandon: Ya think?

A New Challenger: I agree, Smash bros. needs more blue shells.

Mark: You can play your Wii online?

Sounds like Jim needs a visit from the Waaaaaaaah-mbulance! – A doctor, or something

Brandon: I am not a doctor.

DC: Hey, thats me!

Boris Stoke: Clearly I am not privy to some top secret Jim intelligence.

A New Challenger: All Your Base Are Belong To Us!

Mark: I forget, which one is jim?

Boris Stoke: He’s the one named Jim.

I’m eatin some Golden Oreos right now, what about you? – Opty

Boris Stoke: I’m eating pizza.

A New Challenger: I’m having a golden shower.

Jbond64: So he has to eat the Oreos with the most bling.

Hero: i’m watching Robin Williams on a Very Special Episode of Law and Order.

Brandon: Jbond wins.

Since I finally got around to finishing it, five-word review of Yoshi’s Island DS: It was a video game. BONUS REVIEW: Bowser looks funny in this. – ANC

Kevyn: I liked Robin Williams as Mork from Ork.

Brandon: I would have to agree with Kevyn.

A New Challenger: This man will be an invaluable addition to your review staff! Hire him immediately!

Boris Stoke: But should I buy it!? I need your opinion!

Well the Nintendo Channel (that DS download service and pals thing) is up, but there are no interesting demos. Had to delete Yoshi’s Story and Ninja Spirit just to put it on my system to… – Boris Stoke

Brandon: …to WHAT?!?

Boris Stoke: What a retard.

Mark: Gay.


Boris Stoke: ….awkward.


A New Challenger: You made the baby Yoshi cry.

What NDork radio updates are you talking about? We didn’t do a show for like two weeks. – Mark

Brandon: Then the ones before that.

Mark: And we won’t do one this week either, suckers!

Jbond64: It’s ok, the website is down anyways!

So I got to play Mario Kart and Brawl last night for the first time. I sucked at Mario Kart but I blamed that on the fact that I was playing with three other people on a small tv and spent half the night with a horrendous headache from straining my eyes trying to see my tiny corner of the screen. My Kirby owned the crap out of everyone at Brawl though. He still has it after all these years! – Ned the Head

Brandon: You can find headache remedies above.

Mark: My Kirby takes the Mornin’ Train.

Kevyn: My Kirby brings all the boys to the yard.

So, for those ignoring the forum post, we’re trying to get some dorks into www.puzzlepirates.com again. It’s free and fun, and we have an awesome crew that would like more members. This is just a shout out asking people to please join in on the free good fun 😀 – magihiro

Brandon: Done.

A New Challenger: Flagged for spam.

Hero: Sorry, i’m a ninja.

Mark: Go watch Ghostbusters.

Kevyn: Actually Puzzle Pirates is pretty fun. I wholly endorse this DRC.

If I get hit with one more frigging blue turtle I’m going to shi-AHHH! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?! – SerratedEdge

DC: hahahaha

Kevyn: hahahaha

Brandon: hahaha

Mark: I hit your wife with my blue turtle, if you catch my drift.

Jbond64: hahaha

Brandon: haha

I keep getting sql errors on the board. If it goes down, would it prove that the universe can only handle a working homepage and message board for a limted amount of time before balance is restored? But restored in a bad way, like how the force was restored in the Star Wars prequels. I’d hate to see Nintendorks responsible for three shitty movies and a near infinite number of crushed dreams. – dookie

Brandon: All I know is Kyle is working on the search tables, and that’s all I’m allowed to disclose.

A New Challenger: Don’t worry, Nintendorks can’t even be responsible for one movie.

Hero: Nintendorks is already responsible for crushed dreams, and 3 shitty spinoff sites.

Wolfbelly: I find your lack of faith in the board disturbing, Admiral.

Next Sunday I’m watching all 3 Indiana Jones movies back to back to prepare for the new one. It’ll be sweet. – Soybean

Brandon: What a coincidence, I made a hilarious Temple of Doom reference earlier!

Jbond64: Throw me the whip.

DC: Your sister is.

Mark: I did that a few weeks ago. WITH REAL GIRLS.

Hero: As long as you do it in a sweet fedora.

A New Challenger: Sean Connery was dead all along. I saved you 6 hours.

I’ve been a fan of the sigte since at least ’00. I’m a fan of everyone who posts on the forums, also possibly a little in awe and a tad envious of their worry free posts. I think I fear rejection? Everyone is an endless source of entertainment for me, however I do not think I will add value or relevence to the forums, so I do not post. I am a lurker and I apologize. Even now as I’m about to hit the submit button at the bottom I’m wincing a little bit, on the inside. – Fundletheoffkilter

Brandon: We still love you.

Kevyn: ahaha the Orioles suck…That’s not meant to be a DRC response, just an observation.

DC: Lurkers, unite.

Did you hear ‘The Mole’ is returning to ABC? And without stupid celebrities playing. As long as Kathy Griffith or Steven Baldwin are not hosting, I plan to watch. – greywheel

Brandon: I plan to not watch.

Boris Stoke: I watched the Mole for a bit but when I realized no one was in mortal danger I blew up my TV.

A New Challenger: Until Robert DeNiro is on The Mole I refuse to watch.

Hero: Even without the stupid celebrities The Mole is a terrible, terrible show. Is there anything on ABC worth watching if you’re not menopausal?

Kevyn: Sarah Jessica Parker has a Mole on her chin.

Mark: Hey!

Wait… Did that guy just say “Pig Lib” was embarrassing? I think it is he that should feel shame. – Leather McWhip

Mark: I have no idea what’s going on.

Hero: i have no response, except to say “what the shit is a Pig Lib?”

Brandon: It’s a Stephen Malkmus album, and I agree with Mr. McWhip.

Boris Stoke: …the heck is Pig Lib? Libertarianism for pigs?

A New Challenger: Mumbo dogface to the banana patch.

Jbond64: Some Animals are more equal than others.

Kevyn: It’s japanese for “pork ribs.”

…ten page paper in one day. I really need a black and tan. And to play smash. get smashed playing smash. ha. – []!

Brandon: I sure hope your paper is about drinking while playing Smash Bros.

Hero: your drc is bad and you should feel bad.

Jbond64: You can pick a black up at your local slave trade.

Boris Stoke: Slavery is wrong.

Mark: Ten pages is nothing. Man up.

Wolfbelly: Sounds like someone left their coherency in the photocopier.

A New Challenger: I love smash. Smashy smashy smash.

So, I am really excited to be moving to Virginia for the summer! However, I am perplexed. If Virginia is for Lovers and I am going to Virginia, by transitive property, will I find true love in Virginia? – Chargrock

Brandon: If you play your cards right…

Kevyn: No but you may find Dumfries.

Jbond64: No but you may find a STD.

A New Challenger: Depends, does your sister live in Virginia?

Hero: Virginia is getting Charg-Rocked.

Have you ever had sex with the 1812 Overture playing in the background? – Franky Doodle Dandy

Kevyn: I prefer Taps.

Boris Stoke: Oh gosh, you didn’t kill her did you?

Mark: (Cannon firing joke)

Hero: People have sex to things other than Barry White? TV has taught me wrong.

A New Challenger: I’ve masturbated while listening to “Do You really Want To Hurt Me.”

Jbond64: If you need an entire symphony behind you, you’re making up for something.

Brandon: I’ve watched ANC masturbate while listening to “Do You really Want To Hurt Me.”

Did you remember to call your mom? – Emily

Brandon: I didn’t need to call her, she came to visit for the weekend!

A New Challenger: Call her what?

Mark: (Your Mom Joke)

A New Challenger: No but I remembered to call yours 😉

Kevyn: I love my mommy.

If they’d drop the POW block item, and make the blue shell stay on the track (and possibly knock over racers on its way to the front), Mario Kart Wii would be 25% better. What is that old saying? “If Wishes and Wants were Candy and Nuts, we’d all get raped on the subway.” – CNE

Jbond64: I think that’s just what YOU say.

Boris Stoke: That’s a saying in prison.

A New Challenger: Now I’m more afraid of candy than ever, thanks a lot!

Kevyn: I thought it was “if grandma had nuts, she’d be Brandon”


Wolfbelly: Oh, so it was YOU that offered me candy and nuts on the subway! I want my anal virginity back.

Brandon: I can’t decide if Kevyn made an I’m old joke or I have a vagina joke. Good job.

How’s your penis? – The Todd

Brandon: Magnificent.

Boris Stoke: I don’t want to talk about it.

A New Challenger: In my pants!

Kevyn: Itchy.

A New Challenger: Fine thanks. How’s your vag?

Mark: Ryan?