DRCs: 06-27-08

by Brandon on

I meant to do these earlier in the week, but I was busy reviewing pinball games and getting new staff set up. So last night I decided to go the easy route and have #studio64 folk help answer DRCs, then remembered it actually takes longer to edit it all! In any case, here are the WRCs.

As of August 1st I will be without a job. However, I was given a generous severance package. I already have a part time job lined up so now I’m torn between

my duty to get another job thus enabling me to provide for my wife once my severance runs out… or sitting around and playing video games all the time.

What would Brandon do? – Ned the Head

A New Challenger: Brandon would buy me an Xbox 360. *fingers crossed*

Emily B: Make some chili and drink Knob Creek.

Brandon: I would tell my wife to get a fucking job.

Jbond64: The obvious question here is why isn’t your wife working?

Trent: I’d tell your wife to give me a job!

Somebody tell ASPLM that those McD chicken sandwiches are rip offs of the Chick-Fil-A sandwich. If he gets a taste for sweet tea, I bet he’ll move to

Kentucky in a heartbeat. – CNE

A New Challenger: ASPLM, those McD chicken sandwiches are rip offs of the Chick-Fil-A sandwich.

Brandon: Well done.

Emily B: I love sweet tea and I’d never ever move to Kentucky.

Jbond64: Is sweet tea what CNE calls asians?

Are you watching any of the UEFA European Cup? It’s been pretty fun to watch, as it’s being streamed on espn360 for FREE. So far, the Netherlands has been

playing some phenomenal ball, and I am excited for seeing if they can be this strong offensively in future games.

Also, I hope that this “DC area” I keep hearing about is as good as promised. – RubixsQube

Brandon: What does this dude know about being a Nintendork…I mean soccer, REALLY?

Matthew: Is this basketball we’re talking about?

Emily B: I don’t even know what sport hes talking about

Jbond64: As a new staffer he should be required to answer his own DRC.

Gack! Spore is only currently scheduled for release on PC and the DS. All this time I was thinking the 360 release was imminent!

I’ve been living a LIE! – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Matthew: It’s coming out for the iPhone, too.

Brandon: NO WAY

Emily B: Isn’t Asspalm tall? He’s not little.

Brandon: IiiiiiPHoooooooooone!

Jbond64: Spore is going to have it’s fair share of penis monsters and you want to add in 12 year olds?

Brandon: I hope matthew realizes everytime I yell iPhone I’m actually yelling it like a superhero activating his powers

A New Challenger: I keep thinking release is imminent too, but then I find myself holding out for just a bit longer.

Jbond64: Brandon, in Japan they have superheroes that actually do that

Brandon: I had a japanese superhero activate my powers once but for some reason I felt really drained.

I actually set foot in Wal*Mart just to buy Chibi Robo: Park Patrol. Totally worth it.

While I was in there, it occurred to me that I could totally fill up Espi’s ugly photo thread with just shots of people I encountered. – Gato

A New Challenger: Have fun watching Cheebo dance.

Trent: You know, they do sell guns.

Brandon: I bet that’s not the only thing of Espi’s you could fill up.

Matthew: That’s kind of mean. When did Nintendorks get so mean, you guys?

A New Challenger: Since we stopped being funny

A New Challenger: And started getting real

Jbond64: Wal mart is like being in Lord of the Rings. There’s enough fat, ugly, and hairy feet filled characters to fill a novel.

Matthew: Characters filled with hairy feet

Trent: I’ll fill your novel



Trent: What. The. Fuck.

Emily B: Maybe cause you’re a horse?

A New Challenger: Oh god, it’s like that scene in Evil Dead II. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but here’s what you need to do……

Jbond64: Why is Ryan surprised?

Matthew: Shhhh, don’t fight it, baby.

Trent: His penis moves toward the men

Matthew: wow, i creeped myself out just then

A New Challenger: Take your penis off the Ouija board

Hay you guys are back… again and have been for a while now…

Stop going away, please? – Staatz

Matthew: You’re fucking smothering me with your rules. That’s it, I’m leaving!

A New Challenger: We’ve been in the forums, where have YOU been?

Trent: Nintendorks: The only thing that goes down more than your mom

Brandon: Seriously…I meant that for ANC’s comment, but it’s still relevant

I think the forum’s “rape” to “compliment” word filter is the second greatest thing this site has ever done (the greatest was making fun of the homeless at

E3). I was on Steam’s TF2 forum and there was a thread called “ITT Compliment the Poster Above You” and I couldn’t stop giggling like a school-girl. –


A New Challenger: Thanks for the compliment!

Matthew: a) Cite rape; b) demonstrate old school cred; c) talk about how funny Nintendorks is…. Congrats, we’re posting your DRC

Brandon, in the unfortunate event of your death in around 125 years or so, who will hold the Throne to the DRC’s? Is Nintendorks like the Roman Catholic

Church, where we all debate in the forums until we agree on someone? Or is it more like an oligarchy, where the mods like Ryan and Kevyn and others will

take over? Or is this a patriarchal monarchy, where your first born son will gain the rights? – Dewey

Jbond64: Battle to the Death

Trent: ANC

A New Challenger: I can’t reveal the details of the selection process to you, but we’ll turn on a 360, and when it burns white we’ll have an answer

Matthew: I think you have the Roman Catholic Church mixed up with the Roman Senate.

Brandon: Was there kid touching in the Roman Senate?

So, I see that I wasn’t chosen to be one of the new writers. It’s okay, I’m used to disappointment. Now, I know that you’ll be selecting others down the

line, and I’ll probably try for that, but I’ll just always remember that I wasn’t your first choice. We could have had something, Brandon. Something

special… – SquirrelGOD

ASPLM: You know liquor is always Brandon’s first choice.

Jbond64: It’s not you, it’s Brandon.

Matthew: I heard you were Brandon’s #2 choice. And by #2, he meant poop.

A New Challenger: I laughed when matthew said poop.

Chicken? Pickle? Bun? Those McDonald’s bastards just copied Chick-Fil-A’s chicken sandwich. Don’t fall for it ASPLM! – Soybean

A New Challenger: Soybean: Late again.

Emily B: I feel like I’ve read this DRC before.

Matthew: God, Soybean, you and your fucking rabbit food!

ASPLM: I’ve never understood why it was called Chick-Fil-A.

Jbond64: So what you’re saying is IT’S A TRAP .

A New Challenger: Don’t listen to him, fall for it, connect four!

I remember when we used to make fun of Xbox for being big. Now that Kutaragi lost his job and you own an Xbox, what is there to mock anymore? –


ASPLM: You. You’re ugly.

A New Challenger: We’ll always have game.com

ASPLM: We could do a mock senate.

Matthew: That XBox is in 2nd place to Wii?

A New Challenger: Wait are you talking about the Xbox or the Xbox360? These things matter. We still mock the Xbox.

Trent: That’s the most perverse sentence I’ve ever read, Matthew.

Brandon: I traded in my Xbox for a a PS2 that’s how bad it was

A New Challenger: We mock Kutaragi for losing his job!

I’d like to be a staffer, but I don’t want to do anything. Can I just be referred to as “Lord God Almighty” and given mod privileges and receive a stipend,

but not actually be a staffer? I think that would work out well for everyone. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Emily B: That’s Ryan’s job.

Brandon: Hahah.

ASPLM: How could you have passed up on this guy. He sounds so… SEXY.

A New Challenger: Fascinating idea. I shall pay you…. in rape dollars.

Trent: Who the fuck does he think he is, Sam Loyd?

ASPLM: I’ll take Brandon Bucks

Emily B: Are those like Schrute bucks?

ASPLM: Wetter.

Earthshaker? Do you know something I don’t know? I see no Earthshaker. – ANC

Brandon: I meant Whirlwind, sorry!

I didn’t realize nintendorks was back in action. Unlike me, who never had any action. Now my time at work can be wasted yet again. Cheers. – Ojisan

A New Challenger: Virgin.


Jbond64: You’re an Ojisan and can’t pick up Japanese school girls ?

Matthew: Hey buddy, the whole Girls-don’t-like-me thing is my schtick.

A New Challenger: Nintendorks? Is that some type of pie?

ASPLM: Is it ever! Hair pie.

Emily B: ANC you have no room to talk.

A New Challenger: I have plenty of room to talk, because there’s no one taking up room on my bed. 🙁

You should have waited for me asshole. – Trekridr

Brandon: I don’t even know what that means, but he seems angry

Matthew: It’s funnier if you imagine him saying it like a pirate.

Emily B: Greg’s worth waiting for.

ASPLM: If you say that like a pirate, it takes on a completely different meaning.

Brandon: Greg doesn’t have a bracelet saying he’s worth waiting for

Emily B: Yes he does

Brandon: noooooooooooo

Emily B: I sent you and him one! And Dok, but that asshole gave it to his girlfriend. Jerk.

Jbond64: Brandon’s never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you

Brandon: Mine is still prominantly displayed on my DS mannequin hand.

Jbond64: I still have my DS hand!

A New Challenger: Me too

Matthew: Also me!

A New Challenger: I use it to amuse children

Brandon: matthew I should bring my hand tomorrow so we can high five!