DRCs: 07-17-08

Riker riker bo biker.

Why is Navi lonely? – Orange Soda

Brandon: Because you touch yourself at night.

obligatory WOW-UPDATES-I-CAME drc post – kindernoob

Brandon: Stay for the news, come for the updates!

I heard about your site on NPR and I was intrigued. I enjoyed playing the Nintendo Entertainment System when I was young, and I know when my two little girls get older they’ll probably want to try it out. But if this site is representative of the sort of “entertainment” they’ll receive from these devices, then count me out. You are all despicable. You should consider the impact you will have on the children that come to this site.

Shame on you. – A concerned parent

Brandon: Haha, we were on NPR. Good one. Also, children should be impacted in their tiny little skulls.

Brandon Brandon bo-Brandon.

I forgot the rest. – sucks at songs

Brandon: It goes “running down the length of my thigh sharona.”

Since I finally played it, here’s a five word review of EarthBound:

Zoomer Fuzzy Pickles Andonuts Boing – ANC

Brandon: Is that good or bad?

Frenzy/Axe, Maul/Concentration, or Whirlwind Barbarian? Goddammit, I swore to never play this game again, and then that damn Diablo III had to be revealed to spur up interest with both my internet and real-world friends. If you ever see a game titled “Toothgun” I’ll be in there and you know the password. – Skoad

Brandon: I never played Barbarian because I always sucked at it.

Kevin neglected to mention that the Disgaea screen looks like it says DisGAIDS. As in GAY and AIDS!

Not that there is anything wrong with that… – Eldaron

Brandon: Not at all, a lot of my games have AIDS.

I hear everyone you ever hated just got AIDS and died. How’s that make you feel? – Opty

Brandon: Depends on how long and drawn out it was.

ow, Nintendorks is backand updating? I used to read this site religiously in high school, now I’m two years out of college and here you are. It’s almost enough to make a man cry and masturbate simultaneously. “Crasturbate” if you will. I’m a little disappointed though. Back in my high school days there was no real cursing, and it made for some funny jokes where you would cleverly imply words and uh… make jokes cleverly that were much funnier than cursing would be. Now you’re always making with the swearing. I’m pretty sure that makes me justified in calling you all bunch of cockwaffles. – Fucksalad

Brandon: I pretty much read that as “Blah blah blah blah blah, funnyname.”

Since when does the front page assault me with so many updates that they go cover top to bottom?

Unacceptable. Or acceptable. One of those things is what I mean to say. – Mecha

Brandon: Yes.

Why is Navi “lonely” I wonder? – Ice Queen

Brandon: Because Orange Soda thinks of you at night.

Cant believe Kevin left Blastcorps of his list of Rare games. JUDAS – brettimus

Snickers Viking: nnnnnnnNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So I just bought Sin & Punishment on the vc and it kicks my ass as well as yours. A sequel would be perfect on wii….so WHY THE CRAP ISN’T THERE ONE? – Alex Winter

Brandon: Thank you for enjoying Sin & Punishment on your Nintendo Wii. However, this website is not Nintendo, so while we could tell you why there isn’t a sequel, it would most likely involve dirty things happening to your mother.

Outer space, though almost entirely empty, is mostly remembered for its virtually uncountable objects. Isn’t that a reasonably good metaphor for life? – Emily

Brandon: Nerd.

I turned 25 on Friday and got really drunk! – MEKsLP

Brandon: You’re 4 years late!

You should let us answer some more DRCs. But let me get drunk first. – Emilyb

Brandon: So, every night? ZING.

Why do you mock me Nintendo? – E3

Nintendo: Because we can afford to.

I had one of those awful string of games (at CoD4 obviously) last night where you keep losing horribly and no matter what you do you can’t seem to get a streak going or get a bomb defused without being killed my some camping homo or being blown up a billion times by randomly thrown grenades on Wet Works. I was weeping bitterly and crying out for you yet you did not come to my rescue.

Why Brandon? WHY?!? – Ned the Head

Brandon: I thought I felt a disturbance in the CoD4 force last night, as if a voice suddenly cried out in terror and was suddenly silenced. I feared something terrible had happened.

Ah, man, that Eternal Darkness banner with the fake “picture has not loaded” image totally just got me. What a sucker! – Jai

Brandon: Haha, didn’t you make that one?

I love Riker and I love whoever made that Riker animated moving picture. – rio

Brandon: He definitely has one of the best beards in television.