DRCs: 07-29-08

by Brandon on

I forgot to do these last week, sorry! I had laser eye surgery, sue me!

Hey! Did you see that? I wasn’t in the last DRCs!

…or was I? – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: It’s been so long even I don’t remember!

It is a strange feeling to come to this site actively looking for updates because you expect there is a good chance there will be some. – Saleem

Brandon: Strange like climbing the rope in gym class?

Uh-oh, Brandon. Looks like your new contributors are making you look like a bit of a slacker. Guess you’d better update the DRCs a bit more often to make up for it…that or break their hands to prevent them from updating so often. Whichever is lazier. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: They both sound like an AWFUL lot of work.

Jenga is awesome, and the Donkey Kongisation of it will make it even more awesomer. When i play Jenga I remove the blocks using my erect penis, and that will make it awesomer still. – AJ

Brandon: I can understand pushing a block out, but how do you pull one? Nevermind, I don’t want to know.

I remember Soybean saying that NintendorksForObama was mentioned on NPR. Why they’d mention Nintendorks itself I’d never know. – Nussy

Brandon: Because we’re a bunch of liberal hippies.

It was one of the Eternal Darkness banners I didn’t make, fortunately. At least, I think I didn’t. Xel’lotath Narokath Santak. But that isn’t what I came here to say, this is:

Travis is so strong and smart. – Jai

Brandon: I was going to ask how strong and smart, but you made it pretty clear that he’s SO strong and smart.

Hey, I wouldn’t mind having a Tecmo foam finger. In fact, I might pay money for something like that. – An Honest Dork

Brandon: WHERE wouldn’t you mind having a Tecmo foam finger?


Brandon: Last I heard he was trying to get into the advertising business. That or he’s dead in a gutter somewhere.

This site would be better with comments turned on for all the articles. – Chuck

Brandon: No it wouldn’t.

I’m so fucking sick of reading how people are bewildered by how many updates there are. Bunch of pussies. – Syrup

Brandon: Hahaha.

Travis: I’m still torn over Animal Crossing. GTA…

For some reason I read that as one sentence, and thought they were making a GTA: Animal Crossing. I guess you could steal Gracie’s car and punch koalas in the face. And rob the bank in the post office.

I’d play it. – Emily

Brandon: Knocking those balloon gifts down would be a lot easier with a rocket launcher.

I am trying to find Tetris DS for my mom. However, the jerks on amazon sell it for over forty dollars! Please help me find it for cheaper. – Mark

Brandon: Who am I, Lisa Turtle? Find your own deals!

So, maybe you guys should explain the “Nintendojo guy” reference. I mean, I know, and you guys know, but the 11-year-old children who keep having their forum accounts denied would probably like to know. – CNE

Brandon: This pretty much explains it.

Holy crap! I haven’t checked this site in years since the 3rd or 4th server crash… Remember me? – Battymo

Brandon: I do!

This steak and kidney pie is delicious.

Would you like some? – Constant fear of kidrape

Brandon: No THANK you.

“Careful, you’re treading on Vibe territory”

Do it! – Elrando

Brandon: Do what? Hey what’s that over there…?

While bored at work I made the mistake of reading GameSpot’s Reader’s Soapbox. What kind of shoddy site publishes articles that have the grammar and net speak of a 13 year old typing MySpace comments? I mean our DRCs aren’t even that bad, and I figure ~75% of these are written by idiots, meth heads or pornographers. – dookie

Brandon: Remember CellArt? Good stuff.

Wario Land: The Shake Dimension?

This wasn’t MY idea, although I am sorry, really truly sorry. – Australia

Brandon: Wario Ware is getting traded in today for Soul Calibur IV. Sorry, Wario, but Boom Blox is the reigning king of multiplayer fun in my circle.

I know one of them sounds like (And would be, if we were all God-fearing Englishmen) an “s”, but there are really two “z”s in “Kidz Sports: Crazy Golf”. Mr. Birdsong.

When are Cory and Justin Whirledge going to form a superhero duo? No offense, Cory, but Birdsong is sort of a sidekick’s name. Maybe if you were “Birdscream” you could headline (Or pursue a life of weird, theatrical crime). – Mr. Saucepants

Brandon: If they got married and kept their names, Whirledge-Birdsong and Birdsong-Whirledge would be pretty awesome last names. Justin, go marry Cory’s sister before it’s too late and she gets some shitty last name…like Humperdink.

Wario Ware’s name change is due to the fact that “shake it” in Australia is a euphemism for masturbation. I believe this nomiker stems from the fact that oftentimes during the act of self pleasure, your motions can become quite aggressive, resulting in a distinct shaking of the body. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: You’re doing it wrong.

jesus you guys are still running? I haven’t been to this site in like… 7 years – xerophinity

Brandon: And yet you keep coming back.

Those screenshots of Animal Forest 4 can go out behind the woodshed and suck their own cock. That fucking same set of goddamn cabana and classic furniture they’re showing in those has been in every goddamn fucking game so far. How hard would it be to hire 1 new content guy and have some FUCKING new sets? C’MON! – Barry O`blabla

Brandon: How do you really feel?

Speaking of the Diddy Laugh, I hear various beeping sound effects from Jet Force Gemini all the freaking time in movies or on TV. If the future or a computer is involved in any way, bam! There are JFG sound effects to be heard. It’s just me that associates those noises with JFG, of course, since I doubt Rare was the first to use them. – Jai

Brandon: I hear various beeping sound effects AND the Diddy laugh whenever I close my eyes.

Big O and Dukes are the next big stars. We are their biggest supporters. Stop by one of their events at Velocity Five. – Velocity Five

Brandon: I do enjoy the show (you gentle readers may enjoy it as well…good radio for dorks), but I’ll wait until you open up in Sterling, thanks.



Brandon: Then you are at the wrong site.

I have shattered your web of villiany and lies, Brandon! Wake up you sheeple, it’s time for CHANGE and HOPE and other synonyms!

The Democratic Republic of the Congo has the initials DRC.


Brandon: I can’t decide if I would rather die mining colton or ripped to pieces by those mean white gorillas.

So I can kill Nigerians by driving to the game store, and then kill Congolese by buying games there? Tell me how I can kill off other African nationalities!

I feel like joining hands with you all and singing “We Are the World.” – Guppy06

Brandon: I would like to buy you a Coke.

Brian Allen and his hot dorky girlfriends are my arch enemies. I Offer him a bowling challenge. I SHALT drive to North Carolina in my dirty undies. I want his bitches if I win. If I was to lose, which is nearly impossible, I will give him my wii. And my soul. – StinkyCheeseMan (SCM)

Brandon: Am I supposed to know what you’re talking about?

Hey Adam, you’re a neat guy, but Konami makes Castlevania, not Capcom.

I wonder how many people sent in a DRC about this. I’m sure the number is Aplenty. – Mecha

Brandon: Ooooooooooo SNAP! You were actually the only one anal enough to send in a DRC.

Next time try hiring a couple guys to do Nintendorks Radio who don’t sound like each one has a cock in his mouth. – Yeah, you heard me

Brandon: What would be the point in doing that? I also think it’s pretty funny you think I hired people to produce a Nintendorks radio show. That’s rich. Like, cock-in-mouth rich.

So the Diddy laugh doesn’t only live inside my head? Yay! – yanca

Brandon: Maybe we’re cylons!

As a former employee of Comcast customer service, I feel qualified to say DO NOT GET COMCAST! FOR THE LOVE THAT IS ALL HOLY, DO NOT SIGH UP FOR COMCAST’S SERVICES!

That is all. – Brooder.

Brandon: I’ve had it forever with no problems…of course now that I said that, everything is going to go to shit. Thanks a lot.