New releases for the week of July 7
For the Wii:
- Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo’s Dungeon
- Square continues to whore out the Final Fantasy name with this roguelike, which is a kind of RPG that rapes you in the ass, and then you start over, so you can try to be raped in the ass later than the last time.
- Purr Pals
- Nintendogs with cats.
Insert joke about cats being different from dogs here.
- Sports Party
- Wii Sports without Miis. It is surprising that this game is not named Sportz Partyz, since it is part of Ubisoft’s casual label.
- Wonder World Amusement Park
- It’s a minigame collection for the Wii!
- **Sid Meier’s Civilization Revolution**
- Console/handheld adaptation of the beloved PC series. Apparently uses the same internal logic and AI as its console counterparts.
- **Carnival Games**
- It’s a port of a minigame collection for the Wii!