Nintendo Unveils the Equivalent of the “Expansion Pak” for the Wii Remote

intendo, trying their hardest to one-up Microsoft in the midst of their press conference this morning, has revealed that they are producing a little doo-dad that you plug into the bottom of your Wii Remote in order to help the device by more “accurately reflecting motions in a 3-D space.” Called the Wii MotionPlus, the add-on will, until they say otherwise, make all of your dreams come true.

Light saber duels? Yes. WiiFlagTeam? Possibly. Incredibly lifelike masturbation simulator? Done. (Especially now that it’s got a few more inches on it am I right or am I right, guys?) I am just going to say also that the picture there reveals that they’re going to have to make yet another Wii Remote (Magnum) condom for all of the idiots who throw it around their apartment. And thus I will stop making wii remote/penis metaphors.

Anyway, I’m sure that Nintendo will show us what’s what tomorrow during the Press Conference tomorrow at 9 AM Pacific, which is the true way of telling time. See you all in the studio!