DRCs: 08-25-08

by Brandon on


I’m glad you’re doing DRCs every day again because it keeps me from relying on the “must write an article because everyone else is” that doesn’t actually work, but now I’m obsessed with making sure two DRC posts don’t occur right next to each other. A sufficient buffer is important. I think it’s like crossing the streams.Of course, I ran late to work this morning and wasn’t able to provide the much needed buffer between updates. I was only going to write a bit about putting homebrew on my DS though. Playing Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis on a DS is neat. – Travis

Brandon: I have to be honest…I didn’t answer these at lunch time because I wanted something in-between. I’d say you and Adam just earned your keep. Too bad I can’t pay you with anything other than RESPECT…but you already had that with your stupid Pacifism score.

I didn’t get “hired” by the site when I sent in my application. Do you have William Tunstall’s contact information. I think having an agent would help you choose me next time. – Nussy

Brandon: If I ever feel like we need MORE new blood, you and SquirrelG0D were the ones. Just saying, if that helps you sleep at night. Also, forget I said this, because I will, since I’ve been drinking.

You really must watch yourself. What exactly are the sartorial semaphores you’re going for?! You look like a whore. – Emily

Brandon: What the hell are semaphores? The only reason I’ve seen that word is because of Wreckless Eric.

I like how the new staffers finally attended the “How to Update Like a Nintendork” seminar put on last week. Now the site feels like Nintendorks. – CNE

Brandon: I don’t know what you mean, but hopefully it means they passed Panthera’s expert course.

I had 15 shots of jager last night and two spotted cows while watching Mulholland Drive with my saucy co-worker. The movie made more sense in my drunken state than in any of the previous 10 times of viewing it. – MEKsLP

Brandon: All I remember from that movie are scary burned freaks and lesbians…hmmm, perhaps I should watch it again, because that combines two things I’m fond off.

Hi,I work with a client who would like some exposure on your site. Preferably in connection to when you reference breasts or vaginas. My client works with film and they would blend in great with your site. If you are interested I can explain a bit further about what I have in mind. Regards, Alotta – – Allotta Fagina

Brandon: I should have known this was coming, but you win nothing for being the first.

You did it, Brandon. You set a goal and you stuck to it. I’m proud of you, son.Please note: If you are reading this in December, then the above message is null and void. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: If you are reading this on Monday evening, you can go screw.

I actually used to dig graves with my father at the local cemetary. – Skoad

Brandon: Is that a euphemism?

Oh, Mr. Tunstall. It is a mistake to be purposefully ambiguous when dealing with Mr. DeHart. I admit that I’m now curious as to which of your clients you’re even talking about, but you delivered a poor opening salvo (Despite proving that you’re hip enough to submit a DRC, which… well… that was sort of cool, maybe). Can a horde of dorks that don’t give a damn truly blend in great with your client? I will ask God, when I die. – Jai

Brandon: I can’t tell you how happy I was when I got your PM with links based on your research. I was impressed with both you and Mr. Tunstall for at LEAST 10 minutes.

I got an advance preview copy of the new Little Mermaid prequel. It’s quite underwhelming, I barely got a boner. – Mark

Brandon: Yeah, I imagine those holes in the middle of DVDs are too loose for you. OH I WENT THERE.

Charles Martinet wanted me to tell you guys that:”I’m going to be at the Nintendo World Store on Sunday August 24th from noon till 4pm. When fans buy Mario Sluggers at the Nintendo World Store that day, I’ll be there to autograph a gift from Nintendo.”He asked me to get the word out so that my friends and other Mario fans would be there… he wants a big turnout.I can’t make it (what with my living in California and all), but I thought someone might be able to get out there and give Martinet the old Nintendorks… something. – DavidDayton

Brandon: If I wasn’t about to leave the house to meet Chris and other DC Dorks for dinner I would totally make this a front page news item. Perhaps tomorrow, if I remember.

Maybe William Tunstall could offer Skoad a job? – Chives

Brandon: I’d say that depends on his CLIENT.

MY GOOD FRIEND,I am writing to request for support for this venture is as follows. You see, my father, the king in this country was right and the left part of the fourty million U.S. dollars. He, however, in recent times; without his signature on the will of bureaucracy, and Nigeria has now decided for his money back, so that the general fund has. As you know, I am the opinion that these funds are used for financing activities unethical and of unchristian Internet scammers. In other words, I hope that you contact me and help me with this money in good hands. Can you help me WESTERN UNION $44000 dollars of investments, and pay the government to continue considering the freezing of funds, can give you the all whole $40 MILLION money for your own use. These attacks were condemned by His Holiness, the Master FACE, his knowledge and eternal glory was NEVER wrong.Thank you very well and I hope that you will take the SIR and his Christian ideals in mind to help me, please. THANK you; – YOUR GOOD FRIEND IN CHRIST THE PRINCE OF NIGERIAN KINGDOM

Brandon: You wrote way too much to try to be funny. Sorry, but I just scrolled through all that in order to get to the line where I could tell you that you wrote way too much to try to be funny.

Lets go for a bike ride! – Trekridr

Brandon: I love my new bike! Thanks for the consultation! I rode it all weekend, and today I rode to the grocery store and shoved shit in my backpack instead of taking my car. Yaaaaaay, Trek!

Emily can have lunch with me, but she’d have to travel the 8 hours to do so, and I would also expect her to cover the tip. The tip of my penis! No, I’m kidding. 20% of the bill is fine. – ChrisV82

Brandon: If only your name was Bill.

Hi,I work with a penis who would like some exposure on your site. Preferably in connection to when you do a review/post about a penis. My penis works with penis gadget reviews and they would blend in great with your penis.If you are interested I can explain a bit further about what I have in penis.Regards,Penis – Penis McPenison

Brandon: You just used the word “penis” a bunch thinking it would make me post your comment. It worked. Penis.

There is no such thing as bad Indian food. Unless you meant Indian food that has gone bad. In that case, you can never get that smell out if it gets on you. – Saleem

Brandon: Welcome to 2004 and Anchorman: population–not you.

Headset Update: I still don’t have one. – Ned the Head

Brandon: I saw you on earlier and I totally ignored you. I will continue doing so until you update me further.