New Old Games: September 8

by Adam Robinson on

First, an exciting aside for those of us who really enjoyed those educational games pre-loaded onto the computers at school when we were kids.

Math Blasters is on its way to the Nintendo DS. Edutainment, a word that makes me sad when it doesn’t pop up on the spell checker, is certainly experiencing a renaissance lately. I, for one, wholeheartedly offer a “fuck yes” to this. But I digress. Big story this week: Cho Aniki (TG16, 1 player, 900 Wii Bucks) hits the Virtual Console. One of two people who don’t know what this is? Here’s the scoop from the press release:

The odd world in this shooter made for quite the conversation piece in its day. Players control either Idaten or Benten, celestial warriors out to bring an end to the tyrannical rule of the emperor of Planet Builder, who holds muscular prowess to be the supreme virtue of the universe. Aided by able-bodied muscle-head options Adon and Samson, they must battle to defeat the emperor’s army across five stages. Use the buttons to fire away and lay into the Builder forces. Power up your character and options with protein from defeated enemies to have them “bulk up” with a yell, and take their macho battle to the next level.
“The first Cho Aniki is less homoerotic than subsequent games in the series. Or so I’m told,” says **A New Challenger**, who apparently runs with a crowd who loves this series.

In less exciting news, Final Soldier (TG16, 1 player, 700 space bucks), yet another goddamn shooter, and Groovin’ Blocks (Wii Ware, 1-2 players, 800 points), which daringly uses apostrophes to shave unnecessary letters off of its title, are also out. Go spend fake money!