Fuckton of news bits, press conference edition

Now that the dust has settled surrounding the DSi and the madness surrounding its announcement has had time to recede, let’s have a look at some smaller announcements that trickled out of the Nintendo conference last week. Enjoy this box art and meet me after the break.

As Boris mentioned, a new Punch-Out!! was announced, looking pretty great, as does the new Sin and Punishment game. Where were these at E3?

Some kind of storage solution involving the SD card slot for the Wii is happening in Spring 2009, though exactly how it will work is unclear. It sounds like it will simply be streamlining the process of moving things around on your Wii and your SD card. I imagine the quality of these improvements will dictate whether or not this will be a sufficient storage solution for the lifetime of the Wii. This does set the max storage of the Wii at 2.5 GB, which in the grand scheme of things is not all that much. Feel free to join in the fruitless speculation on our forums!

Swag-earning program Club Nintendo is coming to the US.

You can now fight (male?) breast cancer by buying a new SKU of Madden 2009 with a pink ribbon slipcover.

The following Wii games exist and that is all the info I have dug up: Trace Memory: R, Gateway of Memory, Endless Ocean 2: Beautiful Ocean.

When the Wii Speak microphone comes out, the Wii Speak Channel will be made available as a free download, enabling conference calls where your Mom can hear everything you’re saying.

Future Wiis will ship out with a short instructional movie telling new Wii owners how to get on the Internet with their consoles so they can give Nintendo more money.

Dynasty Warriors will be bring its unchanging brand of repetitive medieval Asian soldier stabbing to the Wii for the first time.

A “major” entry in the Tales series is under development for the Wii.

Many Gamecube classics will be remade for the Wii to include Wii controls, and hopefully widescreen resolution support across the board. The first games include Pikmin, Donkey Kong Jungle Beat, Metroid Prime and its sequel, and Chibi Robo. These have not been confirmed for release in the US, but holding them seems unlikely as they would be an easy cash source for Nintendo of American, and they would generate a lot of goodwill among the hardcore community.

Sega is publishing a game called Let’s Tap! wherein the player places the Wii remote on a cardboard box and taps the box to control the game. I swear I am not making this up. Keep in mind this comes from Yuji Naka, the original creator of Sonic the Hedgehog, Samba de Amigo, and Phantasy Star Online.

Tetris Party is coming to WiiWare in October for 1200 points/$12.

Indie Metroidvania darling Cave Story will be coming to WiiWare early next year with new content and features.

Pretty good XBLA developer Ninjabee is bringing out their first Wiiware game Boingz! later this month.

A Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles game for the DS and Wii will feature our old friend connectivity, only now there won’t be a bunch of purple cables cluttering up your living room. Apparently these two games will be the exact same game, right down to DS and Wii owners being able to play together with whichever version of the game they prefer, which is pretty fucking awesome, by my count.

DSi-exclusive software will be region locked, breaking a tradition of region free Nintendo handheld software dating back to the original Game Boy.

Miis are coming to the DS with Your Life Rhythm, a new Nintendo-branded pedometer-based “game” that will track your walking.

Mario and Luigi 3 was announced for DS, trailer can be found here. It looks about as silly as the previous two games.

The first two Brain Age games will be among the first things offered for download on the DSWare service when it debuts this Novemeber in Japan. Astonishingly, Nintendo has nearly beaten Sony to the punch on adopting a new technology in a significant way.

A new Warioware game is coming to the DS that sounds a lot like LittleBigWarioware, in that users will be able to make their own minigames, music and perhaps even graphics. Hopefully, despite fears of penises and penis-related incidents, sharing content on the Internet will be a part of this game, so I can sample many of the fine penis-based minigames the Nintendorks community will generate.