DSi Browsing Not Actually Fixed. Great Job!

by Kevin on

So, the DSi launched over the weekend in Japan, which is pretty great if you want a new DS with cameras and you live in Japan.

If you want one of the beasts anywhere else, you have to pay stupid exorbitant fees and then you’re just shooting yourself in the foot because part of the content is region locked. When I first discussed a new DS, I mentioned that it would be stupid for Nintendo to release it without a dedicated browser. To be more specific, I said that they should release it with a browser that “doesn’t put” “donkey testicles” “in” “it’s mouth.” Browsers are everywhere on mobile devices! I mean, my god, we are one year and two months from it being 2010, which is when the future officially starts by even the most conservative estimates.


This recent IGN writeup](http://ds.ign.com/articles/926/926277p1.html) of the DSi’s opera browser can be summed up with a heaping helping of donkey balls. The browser is slow, even on Japan’s InternetPlus (Internet! Only faster! Can you tell me I am a liar? We will fight in a ring! Metal!). Pages don’t load correctly, or at all. There is no support for flash, so youtube is out. The “bright side” is that going from the menu to the browser is “pretty quick”. Well, that is a bright spot. Since the DSi is going to feature, primarily, online game downloads, having a system that can access the internet smoothly is kind of important. I am beginning to think that Nintendo has no idea what the Internet actually is, or they believe it to just be one giant elderly man with soft skin, fingers delicately poised, ready to molest everyone.

Oh, but I forget everything so quickly when I see the new Wario Ware games.