DRCs: 04-06-09

by Brandon on

Your mom knows a thing or two about DSi.

Masturbation is for faggots, and that’s the truth. – starmand

Brandon: I’m going to believe you sent this on April 1st.

Dude, I need to pee after masturbation too, but strangely, not after sex. Maybe I should make a poll.

Damn, I need to go pee now. – Encubed

Brandon: That was quick.

I have a confession to make…

One time, when I was 6, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken about thinking I was wrong. Tell me, does that mean I am wrong? Or does it mean I am right? Please tell me Brandon. – Mr. Face

Brandon: The real Mr. Face would never have this dilemna. You, sir, are a great big phony.

There’s a new fad where I work, that started with a batch of popsicles sticks gone wrong. The actual popsicle would cover the joke, and the pun would be exposed, leaving you wondering what the set-up line was. This led to some pretty hilarious results in people trying to guess what the actualy question was. For example:

A: A Buffa-load.

Q: ? – Dewey

Brandon: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Were there jokes on your popsicle sticks or something? In any case, I think it’s pretty damn obvious what a Buffa-load is. If you don’t know, ask your mom. I’m sure she knows.

I knew Zac Efron was the west coast you because I felt a little gay when I saw his Rolling Stone cover. Not just ’cause I read Rolling Stone. – Survivor

Brandon: Speaking of Rolling Stone covers, can you believe Blair and Nate are back together? I mean OMG!

It looks like Gatito will be coming home from the hospital next week. Mrs. Gato and I are pretty excited.

Now you know why I’m not playing Wrath of the Lich King. – Gato

Brandon: I’m sure you could have taken a laptop into the delivery room. That’d be a sweet cam show.

Thanks, Jai, but I’m less West Coast Brandon, and more defective rogue clone. Someday I will try and kill him.

Bring on the “is that what ASPLM stands for?!?!?” comments. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: I don’t think those comments will be coming in, because that sentence did nothing but confuse me.

Clarification: McDiggy missed about 5 years of silence, rivers of booze, and ten metric tons of empty Taco Bell wrappers.

I think there was one or two DRC updates soemwhere i nthere, too… – 2Cold Scorpio

Brandon: You forgot Chipotle.

The best part about GTA: Chinatown Wars is how Rockstar uses the touchscreen as a medium to enhance immersion in ways that the normal gameplay is unable to.

Take my night last night for example. I had to kill a man in order to take his ID. When he bit the dust, the touchscreen depicted his corpse. I pulled his wallet out, opened it, stole his cash and ransacked the rest until I found what I needed.

In order to assemble a sniper rifle, you have to open a case, attach the stock, screw in the barrel, affix the scope and slot the clip.

As I played the game, I thought about how brilliant Rockstar had to be. Instead of turning something like this into a gimmick or a minigame, they kept it simple and relevant to the situation.

Then I drove past a rock formation in the form of a giant penis, complete with little rocks on the shaft for warts.

It reminded me exactly who I was dealing with. – R.O.B.

Brandon: I believe this too will be going on my bday list!

Ha, Xbox dorks. Sounds like a web 2.whOa transformation. – Trekridr

Brandon: I enjoyed killing people with you last night.

I think you should move in with Michael Ian Black – Mark

Brandon: I would have to agree with that, but I think he’s married.

why does the week after spring break always suck so much? Why can’t the drinks just last? – []!

Brandon: Oh but they can! They CAN!!!

I picked up my DSi today. The first thing I did was plug in an SD card and listen to some Frank Sinatra.

Having a DS/digital music player combo is quite nifty, especially since, up until now, I was one of the few members of my generation who didn’t have some sort of digital music player. – Orange Soda

Brandon: I had no idea it had an SD card reader!

Do you know where I could find some Fruity Pebbles? – Count Choc…I mean um…Bill, yes, Bill

Brandon: Ask Dewey’s mom. I’m sure she knows.

I imagine you made some snarky remark about the lack of impressions in my previous DRC, here’s some now:

The matte finish is nice. I got black. The screens are bigger, but you don’t notice without a side-by-side comparison.

DSi Sound works well. The sound filters are okay, though I probably would rather listen to the song the way it was intended. The various visual dipiction things (hell if I know what they’re called) are pretty cool: there’s some generic things, a bunch of hatching chickens, tap dancers, something that sorta resembles Star Fox, Super Mario Bros, and, my favorite of the bunch, Excitebike.

When I played a game, the colors were a lot brighter. I’m not sure if it’s because of the color pallete or if it’s just the screen being brighter (I had never upgraded to a DS Lite). – Orange Soda

Brandon: I may cave and trade in my DS Lite for one.

man is it possible to make Navi not lonely it bums me out each time i come to this site – brettimus

Brandon: I’m surprised that’s the thing that bums you out when you come to this site.