DRCs: 04-16-08

by Brandon on

You can dance if you want to.

Brandon, I would like to congratulate you on revealing my imposter. He captured me, but thanks to quick thinking I went along with it and led him to believe the ropes were bound tight enough. Then when he put me in the storage room, I quickly escaped, found my trusty dagger, and began to hunt him down. He is dead now, lying at my feet, but I thank you for reaffirming my belief that you will never be fooled.

You see, I am never wrong, nor will I ever be. – The REAL Mr. Face

Brandon: Nice try. Mr. Face would never be captured, because being captured requires making a wrong decision about safety and/or whereabouts.

I just totally realized ASPLM was short for A Sad and Pathetic Little Man. I totally thought it was just short hand for Ass Palm or something.

*hides in the the corner with his head low* – Phil Matthews

Brandon: Don’t worry, that’s what everyone thinks.

Back in the N64 days I always thought that “64DD” would be an awesome cup size. – NedTedBro

Brandon: Don’t worry, that’s what everyone thinks.

Is it okay to say “Twat” on the Internet? – Mark

Brandon: Geez, not the way you just did! How DARE you.

I believe I found this wonderful game from my dear friends on the forum. I showed it to some co-workers, but they were unable to beat it. Any chance I could convince one of the staffers here to write up a review, or even better, an in-depth walk-through? – Clintoris

Brandon: That was rather captivating.

I stole the background for my deals twitter. – Skoad

Brandon: But I spent sooooooooooooooooo much time on it! You forgot to link it, so I did.

You guys really need to blog it up a little more. You know, post unsubstanciated rumors so you can say you were first when they come true or laugh that it was just a rumor when it’s shown false, post porn to get more hits, add a commenting system so people come for stupid flamewars that spawn at the bottom of every post, post a ton of entries so your front page is never staler than 12 hours, and be sponsored by game companies that like to put huge ads in the middle of the page so if you want to see any news past the first few items. It’s a foolproof plan, it can’t go wrong, you’ll be back on the top of the heap in no time! – Opty

Brandon: Being on top of a heap of shit is not a good thing. Unless you’re a pig. Or a fly. Or have some horrible fetish.

Nintendorks twitter? Is this for real? So instead of checking www.nintendorks.com to see if the site updated, I should check for a Nintendorks twat. Then when I see there ARE new DRCs I will visit the site, but not before confirming it with the Nintendorks facebook profile. – xsex

Brandon: Pretty sure there’s only a fanpage on Facebook, but not an official profile. Oh, you were being sarcastic. Well then fuck you, sir.

I miss the Harvest Moon 64 guide that used to be here. I was feeling nostalgic and remembered all the good times playing that game and was sad it wasn’t here. That’s all. – Pondslider

Brandon: I feel bad that I haven’t played Tree of Tranquility in a while. That’s a good Harvest Moon game, and I was kicking some ass!

Word on the street is that there is a new Zelda game coming out this year. Seems a bit odd not having Link in his traditional green, but I’m excited!

And since I’m excited about it, I thought I’d share that I’m officially done with the 3rd and final set of board exams and am just a few months away from my own DEA number! – VonTrappChildren

Brandon: I’m afraid that trailer was fake, narc.

Boom Blox = Wii’s answer to Little Big Planet!

BUY IT! (sequel coming next month sans Friend Codes) – tomspug

Brandon: I’ve played Little Big Planet. You, Boom Blox, are no Little Big Planet.

I know I could make Navi not lonely for one magical evening. Then I would call her my angel of the morning, and I would touch her cheek before I left her.

Actually, I’d probably take a gigantic piss before I left. Hopefully in the toilet. Do they even have toilets in Kokiri Forest? Man, there is so much left to explore in the Zelda universe. – Chris V

Brandon: They’re just old, hollowed out tree stumps, and they smell HORRIBLE.

Are you ever going to fill me again? I feel so lonely…

…do you even *get* serious stuff that would go in me anymore? Or is it all just DRC bullshit foolishness.

PS: Oh, and the Vibe says hi. And feels equally neglected. You drunken bastards. – The Bag

Brandon: Hah, I just remembered that I created a bag topic in the staff forum, and I went to check it. Five whole questions, and one of them is from Travis! I’ll try to remember to send the more “serious” DRCs to the bag thread, sorry.

For Liberty! For male strippers! – Ron Paul

Brandon: I think you mean for the liberation of male strippers.

Take my hand, Brandon. For just one beautiful moment, let’s forget all the hate, all the sadness, all the anger in the world…and just dance. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: I hope you never lose your sense of wonder. I mean, you can get your fill to eat, but hopefully you’ll always keep that hunger. Also, please don’t take one single breath for granted. God forbid love ever leave you empty handed.

Happy Birthday, Brandon DeHart! – Your Life Insurance Agent

Brandon: Hey you’re both early and a bit sadistic!