DRCs: 05-14-09

by Brandon on

You run to the hotel and get Busy Bee!

Travis told me in the newest news update to send a you a DRC telling you how I feel.

Usually I use my hands, but occassionly I’ll use my feet, but mostly in the dark so when I’m walking around I don’t step on something or trip. Especially sine I own a dog with all black fur which tends to like to sleep in the hallway all sprawled out. – Phil Matthews

Brandon: I think he meant how do you FEEL. Like how soft is your skin? Or is it like sand? Sand is rough.

Wii HD… Not going to happen. There might be a new Nintendo machine that does HD graphics. They might even choose to keep riding on the Wii name.

But there’s no way they would play it up as “It’s all the fun of Wii, but now it looks good too!!” – BeardedBunny

Brandon: A Wii with a HDMI port would be about the same as an ugly girl with makeup.

Mama Cass was NOT killed by a ham sandwich! – Matrix79

Brandon: I believe your knowledge of history has been misled.

My shoes didn’t break the boards. If anything, my shoes FIXED the boards with their awesomeness. – garman

Brandon: Those shoes were made for walkin’!

I’m lazy, so I’ll just repost what I wrote on my facebook wall about the robbery, with some slight modifications:

I’m fine! Thanks everyone. I was walking home at night from the nearest Marta station(its like the DC metro, except shittier), got about 500 ft from my apartment complex, when an SUV pulled up on the road along side me, and the driver pulled a gun on me. He demanded my wallet, but I only have a clip that I keep my cards in. I gave him that and my phone, and he demanded my pants (I guess they are nice? –ok, so maybe he thought I was lying and still had a wallet in my pockets), then had me walk away. He backed up and left such that I couldn’t get the license plate number, and I went back and got my shoes, then went the apartment complex and filed a report. All said, I lost my IDs, keys, phone, pants and belt, and a night of sleep, but I’m safe!

So, it wasn’t that funny. Except for the maybe the surveillance camera footage at my apartment complex, where I walked up in a dress shirt, shoes, and underwear, tried pushing the iron gates open, and then screamed obscenities about Atlanta at the top of my lungs.

But as an update, I did get my pants back! Someone found them with my keys with my email address in a flash drive and emailed me. After about 10 washes and two weeks, I might be ready to wear them again. – Clintoris

Brandon: Good thing you were actually wearing underwear!

I’m a guy (a MANLY guy), and that bathtub scares the SHIT out of me.

I don’t even go near it anymore. – mfenig

Brandon: That would explain the smell.

I used to care about Metal Gear until I found out my brother tried to have sex with my mother in the swimming pool and that undead vampire guy stabbed my internal organs. – Emma

Brandon: I can’t decide if I want to party with you or not.

You were able to be run over by a hover-van because you were on a hover-board. The future is pretty radical, except that popular slang here is fifty years old and still pretty stale to everyone but teenagers.

Oh, and you were on a hover-board because those are what the paramedics strap you down to when they need to push you somewhere after you get run over by a normal van. – Future Jai

Brandon: Now I’m intrigued…who was driving the van?

I got a note on my keyboard at work yesterday. It said:


ASPLM’s Job Inc. shipped $2.2 million in revenue to ASPLM’s Job Inc. Big Customer in April. You and your team members made it happen. Good job!

ASPLM’s Boss. 05-01-09”

Please note that there was nothing attached to this note except warm regards. I’m not complaining, but if I just made the company $2.2 mil, could I get a couple movie tickets or something? That would cost .0000001% of what I just made you, and that’s with popcorn.

But I’m not complaining. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: It actually sounds like that’s EXACTLY what you’re doing.

I played so many video games yesterday that I still have a headache. I haven’t done that in a long time. – Fearsomepirate

Brandon: 16-bit graphics will do that to ya.

Please make a staff page. A simple one even. Please.

I realized only shortly ago that there’s a Kevyn and a Kevin. – Elbow

Brandon: I know, isn’t that neat?!

More like Duke Nukem ForNEVER, right?! – tubular culosis


I find it interesting that a few years ago the internet creamed itself over Nintendo selling a parking lot to Microsoft…but nothing now that Nintendo’s making a huge new HQ just south of their current one. – Opty

Brandon: THEY’RE WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

What was your prom experience like? I hope mine is as sweet as toaster strudels. – drc

Brandon: To have a prom experience would require me to have actually gone to prom. I was probably playing videogames and/or drinking beer with a friend, so I’d say my prom experience was pretty good!

How many more years of AD references do we have left? – Mark

Brandon: Maybe 5?

People who didn’t enjoy Star Trek need to chill out and relax. That was a good movie, God forbid anything ever be changed in the franchise. – Shnuff

Brandon: The only reason I can think of is akin to that douchebag move who stops liking an obscure band because other people started liking it.

Waluigi exists because 7uigi is a dumb name, but “walui” (or warui) means evil in Japanese. So it’s actually just a terrible pun, which only like 1/4 of Nintendo’s target demographics will understand. Can I get a “The more you know”? – EKDS5k

Brandon: Hey, I think I just learned something!

Pirates vs. Ninjas is old. I propose a new fight.

Ninjas vs. Cyborg Zombies. – Gerchak

Brandon: BOR-ING. Why do they have to be cyborg? That’s just dumb. I mean, it’s not even realistic!

Travis is stupid, you should fire him – Boris Stoke

Brandon: I just realized something…is your area code 909 or something like that? I think I got texts from you and had no idea who they were from. Until now.

You should probably add links in the sidebar to the @Nintendorks and @NDORKCRAZYDEALS twitter accounts so it looks like we’re hip, also so people can find them. – Jbond64

Brandon: Weird, for some reason I thought I did! There! Done!

I see a little silhouette-o of a man. – Queen

Brandon: Scaramouche! I have no idea if I spelled that right.

Expecting DRC’s?


Brandon: Nooooooooo! And we were just talking about you!