DRCs: 09-14-09

by Brandon on

Happy September Valentine’s Day!

I just saw Topol in Fiddler on the Roof last night and God Damn if he didn’t bring down the motherfucking HOUSE! – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: Good job using profanity to try and make that sound cool.

So, if this is Brandon 2.0, logically, there would be certain improvements from the original Brandon 1.0. What features will I be seeing when upgrading to the new Brandon? – kindernoob

Brandon: I’m single.

I tried to make “Tide Burgers” today, and they just weren’t as good as the ones I had at Dorkfest – Mark

Brandon: That’s because you’re a horrible cook.

Someone holds your dick the entire time you play these newfangled video games? I’ve really been wasting my time on this retro crap! – Fearsomepirate

Brandon: God will always hold your dick, videogames or not.

Wait, you guys got a pre-release demo to try out and write impressions about? When did the illusion of legitimate journalism return to the site? – dc:ky

Brandon: Some time in April, I think. Maybe it was my birthday.

Brandon is from the the future.Consider this . . .FACT! Brandon can seemingly grow an entire beard that puts most to shame in little to no time at all. Proof positive that Brandon owns a time machine.FACT! Brandon in the last DRCs published August 31, 2009 mentioned that he wished he could remember the events that occurred on SEPTEMBER 6th, 2009 A FULL WEEK INTO THE FUTURE!FACT! Brandon is from the future and I, for one, welcome our new time-traveling overlord. – Conspiracy Theorist

Brandon: SECURITY!

It’s wasabi, you nutless dicksack. – starmand

Brandon: Totally not going to turn this into another whiskey debacle, so instead I’ll just say .

I keep renting Carnival Games. – This guy

Brandon: Thank you for your service to your country.

OMFG, i cant believe you guys are still around. The last time i checked out this site, you guys said you were taking a breather and then i just stopped coming to it. Now, im 23 (was like 16 or around that at the time) and it just feels wierd. But, its awesome you guys are back because i loved this site and i love me some mr.face. Huzzah! (BTW, dont this just make ya feel old? :P) – cdub

Brandon: No, it makes me think YOU are old.

I finally picked up Call of Duty: World at War. I enjoy the flamethrower. Medal of Honor Heroes 2 looks like more fun though. I need to buy a ps3 and batman. I felt like you should know – vagina boob

Brandon: It’s easily the best flamethrower of the next-gen flamethrowers. Too bad I didn’t really like the rest of the game.

So im confused, obviously you have an xbox360, so…Does this mean that microsoft and nintendo have teamed up against the BS that is sony? Or did you just say “fuck it” and bought a 360? – cdub

Brandon: I bought a 360 for Burnout Paradise and only for Burnout Paradise. Everything since then has been delicious icing on a delicious cake.

Please kick all the religious wackos off your message board – Separation of Chuch and Skate

Brandon: I’m going to need a list of names.

I’m sorry I yelled at you. – starmand

Brandon: Apology accepted.

mirror’s edge is cool, but I – gotta hurl now

Brandon: That’s somewhere on my GameFly queue, but I’m not on the edge of my seat for it to show up.

Great write up on Beatles: Rock Band. I was very surprised to learn that the Beatles broke up in 1969. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.

As a massive Beatles fan myself, my objective opinion of Cory’s review of The Beatles: Rock Band is that it is the best Nintendorks review, of a game, ever. – Saleem

Brandon: Better than my Charlie Blast’s Territory review? Really?

Apple really thinks I’m going to spend more money than the PS3 cost originally on their phone just to play Bejeweled? – Guppy

Brandon: Yes.

In response to the iPhone/iPod Touch article, I bought my iPod Touch specifically as a gaming platform. I also use it for music, but I definitely play with it 100x more than my DS or my PSP. I don’t even know where either of those systems are at the moment, I haven’t played them in 6 months. But my iPod is sitting right next to me.

The games on the iPod are centered around “play for 5 minutes and then go back to work.” Or at least, the ones I download are. DS games, I’ve got to boot up the system, wait for it to load, and then load my save file…by the time I get to play, I have something else I need to do. – Magihiro

Brandon: If you have to wait for DS system to load then you got bamboozled.

We actually did two albums. The second one came out in ’94 after years of legal battles with our small-time record company–who stopped us from being big (as in Beatles big). This brought out tensions within the band, and we could no longer make beautiful music the way we used to. The four of us are no longer on speaking terms. – The Stone Roses

Brandon: I don’t care.

We are better than The Beatles – The Who

Brandon: Agreed!

You just seem like the guy that would be too cool to worry about what/where a game comes out for the best deal. You’d rather just pick it up where and when you want. – Skoad

Brandon: One time I flew to Las Vegas to buy Chameleon Twist just because I thought it would be cooler to do so. No I didn’t.

Kevin sure has some strange fears. Although, admittedly, my nightmares often involves awkward rhymes, too. – let_it_roll

Brandon: Mine involve Kevin writing poetry.

Who would win in a fight: A Los Angeles Hobo, or a New York Hobo? Both “live” in the worst parts of their respective cities. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: I’d go with Los Angeles hobo…New York is the city that never sleeps, so that New York hobo is probably too tired to fight.

I want to suck your pancreas. – Dab

Brandon: Hey thanks!