DRCs: 09-29-09

by Brandon on

Should I go see Cymbals Eat Guitars at the Black Cat tomorrow night? I mean, I like the album, but are they any good live? The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart are playing too, but I never really got into them even though other people seem to like them. Hmmm, maybe I’ll play it by ear…ha, see what I did there.

If I were to suck on one of your internal organs, it’d be your liver. – Opty

Brandon: That’s sweet. My liver, I mean, not your sentiment.

“Someone holds your dick the entire time you play these newfangled video games? I’ve really been wasting my time on this retro crap! – Fearsomepirate

Brandon: God will always hold your dick, videogames or not.”

If this were to yield some fucked up version of “Footprints” I would hang that on my wall. – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: No you wouldn’t. Also, God hates liars.

I’m glad Magihiro gave us an idea of these “awesome” games on the iPhone/iPod. All I know of is Peggle and Words with Friends. Call me when Scribblenauts or Professor Layton get on the jewPhone, and then we’ll be talkin’. – garman

Brandon: I don’t get the jewPhone joke, but I’m going to say it’s funny just because it has the word jew in it.

I live in Chicago again! And now I don’t fix robots anymore, I design them. Employment is nice. – Emily

Brandon: Ooooh, do you take requests?

PSH. Did you see Down and Out in Beverly Hills? LA hobos are soft. My neighborhood hobo would rip out an LA hobo’s teeth and piss blood into his toothless mouth. Then he might try to molest him. He would probably also mug me. He is, after all, a hobo. – starmand

Brandon: I think you are proud for all the wrong reasons.

Scribblenauts has totally ruined the “Name a game that has a ____” game. My old standby “gay giraffe” thankfully, however, remains unscathed. – A man

Brandon: I have to say I’ve never played that game. You and your friends play dumb games.

How is it that I am not looking forward to a single game for either of the systems that I own (DS & Wii)? The one time the systems that I purchase also happen to have the largest market shares in their respective categories, and this is the thanks I get? – Gator

Brandon: I think there’s some good DS stuff coming out, isn’t there? ISN’T THERE? No? Ok.

I have been reading reviews of Scribblenauts and I still don’t this spelling business. All I can understand is Mandarin strokes. And this game has more strokes than a Jeff Palmer porno. – afrokenjonny

Brandon: Wow you really went way out of your way to make a bad joke. You don’t even get an A for effort.

so i technically don’t know what’s going on, but you have exceptionally boggled my mind. for that you get a lolipop. – LANDO

Brandon: Sweet. I am going to suck the SHIT out of that.

Holy crap, DRCs are still around? Dude…YES! So many memories…of wasting my time on this site. And I love you for it.

Brandon, will you marry me? – barchetta that is red

Brandon: Not right now, no.

So I’m working part time back in the office that employed me before the fire department. That means plenty more wasted government money and enough free time to actually read the site (and the board). – dc:ky

Brandon: Hooray for the government!

That man is a lawyer, indeed! He makes me want to get married, just so I can hire him to divorce me. – Branden

Brandon: He’s so upstanding he gave me free advice!

I have a Pavement boner right now. – starmand

Brandon: I really don’t want to know about that. You’ve totally ruined that nice walk and talk we had back from hangover hole.

I tried to listen to that band Pavement, and it was so bad, my ass started bleeding – DeweyJones

Brandon: You sure that wasn’t from the anal rape you seem to enjoy?

so I am seeing Pavement for the Wednesday Central Park show! Woot

also I am only three achievements away from from finishing all 72 in Fallout 3


-Alien Archivist (I missed the last record twice after figuring out I need to use that horrible child to find it)

-Vault Tech C.E.O. (One more bobblehead!) – MEKsLP

Brandon: Good for you! If I hadn’t already seen them a few times I would have jumped at that. Brandon trivia: Fallout 3 was the first full game I got all the achievements in…even for the DLC! Though I still haven’t gotten the swamp one or the spaceship one.

So after beating RE5 on pc, I think RE6 should just be this. – vaginaboob

Brandon: What the hell, I can’t read a damn thing in that video! No THANK you.

Did you ever play Pinball machines? I’m not clear on the relationship between console gamers and pinball. Anyway I got into it. There’s a classic arcade in downtown Portland called Ground Kontrol, and their top floor is pinball games. There’s also a world ranking system. And from I can tell the players travel to different national and international tournaments. Ground Kontrol, the arcade I mentioned, serves beer and wine after 5pm. There’re of course classic arcade games as well. – This guy

Brandon: I suggest you check out my review of Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection to read if I ever played pinball.

It’s a pity about your shark. – tubular culosis

Brandon: No worries, it wasn’t mine.

Travis is too cool to put breaks in his posts, I guess he likes taking up most of the main page! – TheTedNet

Brandon: Travis just got TOLD!

I’d totally fuck Miss Piggy – Mark

Brandon: I know you would.

Hello. I need to write about my role model for an English assignment. Can I write about you? If so, can you tell me about a time when you overcame a challenge? Thank you. – Gordy

Brandon: Sure! I hope I didn’t answer this too late. Let’s see…well, there was this one time playing Guitar Hero with a friend…I think it was the first one? Maybe the second one…whichever one had “Heart Full of Black” on it. Well, I rocked a little too hard–a bad kick, or a bad landing, or something, because I did something horrible to my kneecap…like, it shifted way too far to one side, and I collapsed to the floor, crippled in pain. The thing is, though, is that we weren’t done rocking! So after I got back up and realized I wasn’t seriously injured, and was able to put weight on my knee, we resumed the song, and continued rocking into the night. It was challenging, sure, but I overcame the pain. There was also this one time I killed a bear with my bare hands, but that didn’t hurt as much.

Did you know that you are furthering to degrade the legitimacy of Wikipedia by not maintaining the following link (http://www.nintendorks.com/chris/archives/000343.php) referenced in this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monster_in_My_Pocket.

P.s. is it 1999? Because I’m pretty sure that was the last time I visited the site and you don’t look a damn day older. – hobo

Brandon: I’m sure I have that article saved on my hard drive if you really want to read it. And thanks for the kind words…unless you’re saying I still look horrible, in which case go fuck yourself.

I remember back on the old ezboard there was a thread called “I just lacerated my sack while trimming my pubes.” The topic was exactly that, some clown hacked open his ballsack while giving his nethers a trim. I think whoever it was intended the thread to be a cautionary tale, but instead he was roundly mocked and laughed at. I remember laughing and thinking to myself, “what kind of sad, pathetic loser is so uncoordinated and inept that he ruptures himself performing standard genital maintenance?” I guffawed and delighted at his expense.

Today, I am no longer laughing. I moved the scissors a bit too quickly and watched in horror as a trail of blood joined the pubic hairs on their way to the drain. – Sven

Brandon: I’m all for trimming, so I’m not going to judge in that regard, but how anyone can be anything BUT careful down there downright baffles me. It’s like the game of Operation, but instead of getting a slight electrical buzz, you lose your dignity.

Hey, brother. Can you spare a few dollars for a man down on his luck? I promise I won’t spend all of it on booze and whores. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: Sorry, I’m saving up for a shitload of booze and whores.

Does anyone besides that shitbag Travis write for your site? – Nick

Brandon: Hahaha!

Russia is bigger than Antarctica. That’s pretty fucking awesome. It’s also fun to go down the list and see how far you can get before you come across a country you’ve never heard of before… I made it to 30. – Me

Brandon: While I enjoyed your comment, what you described sounds like work AND learning. I think I’ll pass.