DRCs: 01-08-10

by Brandon on

Hey just two days shy of two months of neglect. Special guest edition.

“I miss you. What does she have that I don’t? – World of Warcraft”

Definately read that as ‘shave’ not ‘have.’

Works even better in my mind. – Corleone`

Brandon: Maybe that’s because you’re self-conscious about your massive mound of pubic hair.

satchmo: That, or you’re a jew.

I would let Lita Ford brush my hair. – SerratedEdge

Brandon: I would let her not make music anymore.

satchmo: Would you let her gain a lot of pregnancy weight?

Haha, suckers, I escape the games onslaught by not having a good PC and only owning a Wii. Now if you excuse me I need to grind more rep in WoW since that’s the only game my computer can handle. – Opty

satchmo: I’m sorry about your life.

Brandon: Hey at least you have the big black wang thing going for you.

>I spent my 40 dollar credit (from spending $80 at Amazon) on MW2. That gave me a 20 dollar credit. Now to find a game that will give me a $10 dollar credit. WHERE WILL IT END? – Nussy

Brandon: Auschwitz! LOLOL!

satchmo: Where will it end? Not in a vagina, that’s for sure!

If “Band Hero” meant french horns, clarinets, and getting made fun of for hauling a giant instrument on the bus, maybe it would have been worth it. – fearsomepirate

satchmo: This DRC was made by fearsomepirate who is currently on your ignore list. Display this DRC.

Modern Warfare 2. Modern Warfare 2. That is all. Also, Modern Warfare 2. – Modern Warfare 2

Brandon: You forgot about Modern Warfare 2.

satchmo: I bet you are really interesting at parties.

what’s better metal gear solid 2 or 3? I just bought both for 10 bucks a week ago for my brand new used ps2. – vaginaboob

Brandon: I’ve never played either, and I’m glad because the remake on the gamecube made me fall asleep multiple times.

satchmo: Clearly this is a man who lives on the cutting edge of video game technology. I doff my cap to you good sir.

My neighborhood has been taken over by kitties! – tomspug

Brandon: Where do you live?

satchmo: No, where the FUCK do you live and do you have a couch?

These “Daily” Reader Comments aren’t exactly daily, sir. – billy chilly

Brandon: Go fuck yourself. Also, you aren’t very chilly.

satchmo: I’ve been telling him that for years.

this website sucks. – the rapist

Brandon: So does rape.

satchmo: Go fuck yourself.

can u put a vid of god vs. Death? that would be sweet


Brandon: No.

satchmo: Can you use some capitalization? That would be sweet.

Travis is a God-damn, unforgivable HUMANIST.

“Now I don’t think I have to stress here how unique this is for a JRPG to have Gaia as the enemy, as most often a villain is destroying Gaia, which results in other problems.”

His prejudices blind him to the reality that WE are the enemy and the villain. This game is just like all the others, except Gaia is on her own :'( – AquaRichy

Brandon: I stopped reading after you used a curse-word.

satchmo: I’m glad I never hung out with soc majors in university.

Kevin and Travis keep fighting for my favorite new staff writer. Bravo! – graddy

Brandon: Thanks! I am pretty awesome for hiring them.

Zapp Brannigan: EN-core!

That triple negative in the last paragraph of Boris’ (can’t call him Travis, sorry) front page blurb hurts my brain. Otherwise, good stuff.


Brandon: That’s because you went to UVA.

I don’t even play video games anymore after the divorce, because the Wii’s at the wife’s with the kids, but I still like visiting this site.

Is that wrong?

By the way, any tips for starting my life over? – jpat

Brandon: Don’t have any more kids. What were you thinking?

satchmo: I hear they have porn on the internet now.

We hope you have as much fun eating our jerky as we had making it. – Oh Boy! Oberto

Brandon: Haha, making jerky.

I don’t know if this is going to sound racist or whatever, but I wish I could kill all the Toads and all the Ewoks in the world. Not just for myself, but to make it a better place.

Upon typing this, I realize that somewhere along the way my definition of “the world” went slightly awry. – AJ

Brandon: I want nothing to do with you.

I haven’t been to this site for years and was impressed you are still around. I read 2 of your articles and wanted to say that… Winback was awesome. I wish they’d bring that sort of win back to gaming.

^ Front page material right there. – Tempo

Brandon: Hey Tempo, thanks for visiting Nintendorks.com! If you enjoy our main page content, you may also enjoy our chat room and/or message board! It was great hearing from you, have a great day!!!

Do you have any albums hanging on your wall? – the man

Brandon: No.

Not to nitpick, but here’s some nitpicking:

Someone tell Chris that as a pseudo-journalist he should know that it’s “shoo-in” not “shoe-in” – hero

Brandon: Oh jesus not this again.

satchmo: I for one am glad the shoes are finally getting some recognition.

I did this just for fun! – Bub from Mars

Brandon: That’s AWESOME!

satchmo: Hope you enjoyed it!

I hate the Cleveland Brown show but I can’t stop watching a youtube video of the opening song. – jontomato

Brandon: I hate The Fifth Element, but I can’t stop watching it (suck).

satchmo: Is this why you haven’t done the scavenger hunt?

You know, the site would be better if, instead of posting three or four articles on the same day, you took those three or four articles and spread them out over several days. – starmand

Brandon: How about you go fuck yourself.

satchmo: Did you know you have a pube beard?

Hey! Glad to find you again… I was browsing the internet, kinda nostalgic, feeling the need to type nintendorks and voilà! There you are again. So… do we still talk about the gamecube around here? – Pointless

Brandon: No, and we don’t talk about the Wii, either!

Ten more followers for the deals twitter and I can finally complete my suicide pact. – Skoad

Brandon: Come on people! Make dreams HAPPEN!

satchmo: I thought your life was already over?

HoJay is a never-nude and a big tease – Ben

satchmo: Rape him.

Can I take over the DRC’s for a while? I promise that I will do such a poor job that everyone will beg for you to come back, making you seem even more awesome. – Mark

Brandon: No.

Oh man I just lost a drc to putting in my board password in the spam slot instead of “drc.” Do you collect that info and if so, will you use it for good or for evil? – Opty

Brandon: Hey check out this new car I just bought!

By horse, by boat or by train? What about by bird? (OoT and LttP) – Benji Dude

Brandon: I was going to delete this and then satchmo punched me. Consider yourself lucky.


Zelda 1 is the fuckin legend of all video games, im soooooo pissed that you call it a “shitbag” and “inauspicious piece of shit”, first go look at game infomers 200 best games of all time and see that its number fuckin 1 then go fuck yourself cuz you are the inauspicious piece of shit – Tu

Brandon: How do you really feel?

satchmo: Sir, I share your righteous indignation. Now take off your shirt.

I have been checking this site sporadicly for the past 11 or 12 years and I must say…

its the shittiest it has ever been. – Rob Hardy

Brandon: Go fuck yourself.

I know I can’t be the first to mention this, but I nevertheless feel compelled to ensure my opinion goes counted among the ever-growing list of complaints regarding Build-a-Bear Workshop going unbolded in that release list you guys posted recently. Please fire the responsible staffer and stab his or her navel with an ice pick made out of ice, which was in turn created by an actual ice pick that was made out of metal. Stab the irony into his or her navel. – Mayor Bear

Brandon: Sorry, I can BARELY keep track of who posts what around here.

Hey I hear some of you guys were shooting us. – Dudes

Brandon: Not enough.

My last DRC was ten years ago. True story. – Fastball923

satchmo: That’s a long nap!

Cute!! That did melt my heart. =) – Katie

Brandon: We are pretty awesome, yes.

satchmo: And that baby is pretty good too.

AWWW! Now this is what I call awesome . period –

Brandon: As awesome as getting your period?

satchmo: Awww, getting your period is awesome.

is that… is that baby okay? – Bradstor

Brandon: We never heard from it again.

How do I know if my cat is Jewish? – Mark

Brandon: Look at its weiner.

satchmo: Show it some gold.

It’s fun to sing along to Dodgy’s “Grassman”, substituting every instance of “grass” with “ass”. If you have time, why not give it a try?He Speaks in Maths


Hi, I’m the most recent DRC. – From,November

satchmo: Try again, ASSHOLE!

I love the soundtracks of Super Mario Galaxy and Wii Sports Resort. I basically love every Nintendo soundtrack. I just got a Wii. There are a lot more soundtracks to love, I imagine. I imagine a lot of things. A lot of things concerning you, Brandon. – AquaRichy

Brandon: Well with the power of imagination, anything is possible. For example, I imagine a world where this comment didn’t creep me out.

satchmo: Back the fuck off, bitch.

So, yeah, I had to watch the “All Yr Songs” video about 10 times tonight. It’s too catchy and he’s so awkwardly gay. I couldn’t stop.

Thanks for that. – REVLIK

Brandon: My job is done. And I’m glad at least ONE person read my post.

satchmo: I didn’t watch shit.