DRCs: 05-06-11

by Brandon on

Taking a dive to explore the pubic reef.

@Nintendorks – TWAT!

Am I doing this right? – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: Almost, old timer! #KidsTheseDaysUseHashTags

I’ve been playing the Wii version of Klonoa for the last few days and highly recommend it at the $10 price point I found it going for at Best Buy. Not that there’s a lack of great platformers on the Wii this winter, but Kirby and Donkey Kong and Sonic don’t have Pac-Man on their hats, so there. – ANC

Brandon: I like to put Klonoa in my coffee sometimes.

Not always, but sometimes, I look up at the night sky and wonder if you’ve awoken from your alcohol induced black out and are looking at the same stars I am. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: Sometimes I wonder the same thing about you and gay internet porn.

Walnuts, peanuts,

Pineapple smells.

Grapes, melons, oranges,

And coconut shells.

Kevin wrote a good review.

Donkey Kong

Brandon: That last line doesn’t rhyme at all you stupid monkey!

If a lady is prevented from getting some, that my friend is a cock-block. If however, a man is thwarted by someone when trying to bag a dame, that is a clam-jam.

Will you help on this crusade to clear such poor use of language? – poopsock

Brandon: You are confusing verbs and nouns you stupid poopsock!

I miss you… – Wippersnapper

Brandon: Let’s go play Day of Defeat.

Have you been to a videogames live show? They’re pretty rad. I’m playing Silent Hill 3 right now and crapping my pants. Shadow of the Colossus on the way. I haven’t worked since February. – vaginaboob

Brandon: Was this sent in in 2006? Jesus how long has it been since I answered DRCs?

satchmo: More importantly, are you a vagina with boobs or a boob with a vagina?

I love Chris’ take on the news, and it is how Wolf Blitzer should do it. Kudos, and you are right, nobody gives a shit. – cdub

Brandon: I love Chris’ take on pleasuring me orally.

u should that cats and pokeman black guy to report the news that nintendo is d00med again cause he has good teeth

i miss you guys. you guys are the herpes of nintendo news that when i just about forgot i ever had, u flare up in my mind’s eye like Alec baldwin on Friends as phoebe’s boyfriend

sincerely, – afrokenjonny

Brandon: I had almost forgotton why I enjoyed answering DRCs. Thank you, afrokenjonny. Thank you.

nothing to say, really. I’ve just had way too much scotch to go to sleep and waste this awesome buzz. – []!

satchmo: Keep aiming for those stars!

The dinky little sound when Lynch slams Porter to the ground with the stiff arm is hilarious. – brubaker

Brandon: I think that was the point!

Someone doesn’t like Reggie. – anal sects

Brandon: If I mysteriously die in seven days I’m totally blaming you.

Can I borrow $250? It’s for my 3DS transplant. – tubular culosis

Brandon: That is not a life-threatening procedure. DENIED.

satchmo: In Canada, 3DSes (3DSi?) are handed out every election.

Sassafras is a funny word and brandon is a sexy man-bitch. Make me your pimp and i’ll make you rich. – cdub

Brandon: This logic is airtight. Sassafras IS a funny word, and I AM a sexy man-bitch. I hope someone takes you up on that pimp offer!

Are you going to register nintendorks.gay if new top level domains become available? – Daved Edge

Brandon: No but maybe I’ll get that as a tattoo.


Starcraft 2? – tomspug

Brandon: Ask me again when I get a new PC.

I really hope you do these DRCs om Valentine’s Day and that you color the text red. – Mark

Brandon: I really hope I let you down and you cried yourself to sleep.

Favorite currently airing 3 TV shows, GO! – peas

Brandon: Adventure Time, Community, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

satchmo: I had to burn my TV for heat 🙁

Holy shit Travis, you’re so gay. – Mathan

Brandon: HOW GAY IS HE???

I read this site from 2001-2005 when I was in high school. It’s pretty awesome to see you guys still alive (if not particularly lively) after so many years. I figure this won’t get chosen if you decide to do a DRC, but really you guys are awesome.

Also, you introduced me to Pavement, (if Brandon still reads these (he answered the last set of DRCs … so maybe?)) and I fucking love you for it. – ascastleberry

Brandon: This gives me the warm tinglies in my jibblejibbees. Keep on keepin’ on!

Rest in peace Brandon, your presence will be semi- moderatly remembered.

Also, assuming you arn’t dead and just too lazy to update DRC’s, I found the BEST game ever. It is called NEStalgia. Basically it is a free MMORPG that looks like NES dragon quest and final fantasy games. Its also free and gives me a boner every time I think about it. – smotpoker

Brandon: Thank you for the eulogy and the boner.

Having just moved to a larger town, the immense variety of beer still astounds me. I spend every possible night intoxicated on something new (tonight is Uniquebru Terrible.) yum! – []!

Brandon: I think you mean Unibroue Terrible? You are drunk!

satchmo: Their Blanche de Chambly enables me to dance well and tell charming, funny stories that earn me a lot of friends

Thanks for this (now three year-old) article. I really thought I was crazy for hearing this laugh everywhere, glad to know I’m not the only one. I recently just heard it on another commercial, if my DVR was working I would tell you which one it was.

I think the Hollywood sound people know that people recognize this sound, and they just love to screw with us. – dave

Brandon: That Diddy laugh article really has some legs! Almost as much as my guide on finding the TT Door!

3DRC – Mark

Brandon: If you put your 3D glasses on, the next DRC will pop out of the screen!

I haven’t >GAiDENgt**

Brandon: Pretty >?

it’s avery jessup doing a music video yay – afrokenjonny

Brandon: Haha I bet you fell for it. You don’t need glasses to read DRCs in 3D. You just need to adjust the slider there on your monitor.

Nintendorks really is where I get my gaming news. What does that tell you? – Eldaron

Brandon: You suck at the internet.

The new Nintendo Console will be shaped like a trash can and feature a holographic projector. It will be called R2-Wii2 – Mark

Brandon: I want you to go stand in the corner and really think about the poor comment you just made.

Can you and satchmo call off whatever kind of weird “significant other” status you guys have going right now? It’s not that I don’t think you guys are good couple or anything. It’s just that I think the forums need some good ol’ breakup drama, and I’m sick of Whitsky and Dookie doing it every other month. – DeweyGoat

satchmo: We did break up; didn’t you read about that earthquake in Japan?

Brandon: I thought that was the makeup sex?

satchmo: sploosh!

Dear Kevin,

In regards to your write-up on Donkey Kong Returns, We agree with you and validate your opinions, so you should feel good now.


Good People

Brandon: Well Kevin can die a happy man now.

This is the best Nintendorks anything in YEARS. – Ray64


I’ve never agreed with anyone as much as I do with Kevin in his debate with Travis. Years ago I started saying that Travis was totally, utterly wrong about everything. But then, in true Nintendork fashion, I got too lazy to carry on my campaign of truth. – düky

Brandon: I suppose I’m going to have to start reading the main page again. I share your pain.