Hackers Release 17.5 Trillion Friend Codes

“Oh, the amity!” cries 1930’s radio announcerNintendo – long thought to be immune to the type of account hacking suffered by Sony last week – today announced that their popular “Friend Code” system has been compromised, and 17.5 trillion Friend Codes have been leaked to the Internet.

The simple-to-use system, which requires each player of a Wii or DS system to trade a unique 12-digit code for each and every game they own to every last one of their friends, was thought to be impervious to such attacks.

“They trading my Animal Crossing rugs,” user Ballz4U93 posted to Nintendojo.com, a heavily visited Nintendo and professional wrestling fan forum. “I am getting requests to play Pokémon from people I don’t even know,” complained another user, “the worst part is, I don’t know which of my 743 Friend Codes they used to do this.”

Nintendo – possibly looking to avoid the type of major business-destroying embarrassment that Sony is currently experiencing – has quickly set up a site where customers can declare their Friend Codes compromised and receive a free service kit. The kit includes a 500-page leather-bound Friend Code organizer, a $5 gift card to Applebees, and a glove.