We will make an offering to Πρεορδερχλεσ, God of Early Game-Buying Decisions

by Kevin on

Oh, the pre-order bonus.

In America, when you (are stupid enough to) pre-order a game, you normally get…your game on the release date. In very special circumstances, you will get a small bauble that will immediately go into a closet, or in my case, the trunk of my car. Honestly, if you ever want a treasure trove of worthless Nintendo memorabilia, steal my car*. In Greece, apparently, even when the economy is in tatters, if you pre-order a game, your dreams are made manifest. Yes, if you pre-order The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D in the country best known for gyros and a hokey, cloying independent comedy made in 2002, you are showered in gifts. Opa! While I can’t read their crazy language (thank you, physics degrees, for making Greek writing look like an assorted nonsense string of variables), I am pretty sure (from the pictures) that you get a Zelda Hat, a Zelda keyring, a Zelda 3DS case, an ocarina, and a can of Deku Seeds (for…blinding your opponents?). Now, I know I just got done writing about how all of this stuff would be thrown into the boot of my car, and thus I should not covet it…but I do. I do. I pre-ordered the game from Amazon and got an email confirmation. That is what I got. Greece, you greedy, lucky assholes.

*hey please don’t steal my car