DRCs: 11-18-11

by Brandon on

Rap Song!

I know you drank a lot of SKYY, but please remove your Skyward Sword from my Skyrim before I make the Skyfall on your Skrotum. Skype. – Skyler

Brandon: Did you know the extra Y in SKYY is for Yohimbe because it’s a key ingredient? You didn’t? That’s because I just made that up, haha, got you! Seriously though, the first Y is for Yasmine Bleeth because she’s on the board of trustees.

Ahah! I love it when you guys do stuff like the “news”. Where does the truth end and lies the begin? You could lick it three times and the world may still never know. – cdub

Brandon: WHAT did you just tell me I could do?!

Satchmo, be cool. My last DRC wasn’t supposed to be a brain-tickling riddle, I was just doing a “hilarious” “topical” parody of this kick-ass hip-hop song from last year.

Unless you knew that already and were just being so sarcastic I couldn’t even tell you were being sarcastic. In which case I’ll look like a bit of a ROPE-A-DOPE. Oh well, anything to get Nintendorks listening to Wiz Khalifa. – billy chilly

Brandon: I’m fairly certain satchmo wasn’t referencing Wiz Khalifa.

satchmo: Isn’t that a character in Disney’s Aladdin?

On 11/11/11 at 11:11:11 I was teaching my MATH 1111 class. There were 16 students present. I should have asked 5 of them to leave.

On a related note, I asked my class if any of them had seen “This is Spinal Tap”, and only one student raised his hand. Kids these days! – Gato

Brandon: Nerd.

satchmo: This is why there are school shootings.

I’ve pre-ordered Skyward Sword gold edition twice, once from another country, just to be sure. – AquaRichy

satchmo: Can I have your extra copy?

I’m not the only person more excited for Skyward Sword than Skyrim, right? Am I wrong? Do I know what’s good anymore? Should I have stopped listening to TMBG when I turned twenty? – notquitetony

Brandon: Those are questions you’re going to have to ask your heart, notquitetony, not me.

Dang I could have come up with a name where SKYRIM was the acronym. Like…So Killing Your Roommate Is Macabre?, or Sell Kites, You Raging Impotent Moron!

Brandon, help me out, it is fun. – sylim

Brandon: No. But if I did, the “I” would stand for “I enjoyed the comic you did about the guy named Brandon who was afraid to talk to black people.”

I think I dropped my keys in the toilet. – Hank Azaria

Brandon: That’s not how you start a toilet, Hank Azaria!

satchmo: I’m afraid to hear what you tried to put in the ignition…

With the two great games being released so soon, I fear that I’m going to start saying Skyrimward Sword. – ertain

Brandon: You have bigger things to fear. Like your inevitable death!

satchmo: Black and yellow black and yellow!

I would ask satchmo how this winter would be different from any other, but then I remembered that I’m from Buffalo. And then I got sad. – hero

satchmo: I’m sad you’re from Buffalo too 🙁

Brandon: I cry every time I drive through there. The Goo Goo Dolls used to be so good.

I hate the “Elder Scrolls” series. With a burning passion I had wished nothing but death upon the series and mockery upon those who played it. I am a hypocrite. I’m not a morning person, but since I have to leave at 10:30 I am up at 6:30 just to get a fix. Fuck you Bethesda. Fuck you and you’re wonderful game. – cdub

Brandon: I’d be lying if I said I never woke up early to play videogames before work. I’d also be lying if I said Yasmine Bleeth was on the board of trustees for SKYY Vodka.

satchmo: Every time I had to kill a bear or a wolf in Oblivion I’d cry. True Story.

Super Mario 3D Land has none of me. – Shittiness

Brandon: So I hear! Still not sold on 3D, and I still think if I get a 3DS it’ll be the new model we all know is coming out.

What a pleasant surprise to have nearly 10 new DRC’s to read after doing my quarterly check for nintendork’s updates. What an unpleasant non-surprise when I realized how unimpressive my excited, swollen genitals truly are. – Zack

Brandon: That must’ve taken you MINUTES to read through them all!

satchmo: How can you realize that if it’s a non-surprise? You suck at things. Chop your shitty weiner off.

You’re right; googling “slutty panda” was a terrible idea. – fearsomepirate

Brandon: Almost as terrible an idea as anti-abortion!